Wife asks her husband "How many women have you slept with?" Husband proudly replies: "Only you Darling; with all the others, I was awake!" __________________ “You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.â€
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?" Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day."
The Funniest Divorce Letter Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm Leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for Seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss Called to tell me that you quit your job today and That was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal And even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You Ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after Watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you Love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that Connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheat ing on me or you don't lov e me Anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are Moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great Life! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@