Thanks everyone who responded from the last post. I can already tell a couple of things: 1. The headlines are too long 2. They sound like sales pitches Here are some new ones. What do you think? Willing To Trade: Endless Nights of Frustration For Proven MLM Blueprint. Why Everyone Else Is Making Money Using Attraction Marketing- Except You. Grab Your FREE FREE 7 Part Course and Learn Why! 3 Reasons Everyone Else is Generating Leads- Except You! "How To Eliminate Your Struggles With Attraction Marketing" and Discover The Exact Blueprint with making money the easy way! Finally! Top Producers Reveal Their Attraction Marketing Blueprint In 7 Short Videos.
Hi, I love this sort of thing! Willing To Trade: Endless Nights of Frustration For Proven MLM Blueprint. Trade Those Endlessly-Frustrating Marketing Nights For this PROVEN Blueprint Why Everyone Else Is Making Money Using Attraction Marketing- Except You. Grab Your FREE FREE 7 Part Course and Learn Why! Grab Your FREE Course TODAY -- Discover Why Everyone Else Makes More Money Than You Using Attraction Marketing 3 Reasons Everyone Else is Generating Leads- Except You! Revealed: 3 Reasons All the Leads Go To Everyone Else, Leaving You In the Dust "How To Eliminate Your Struggles With Attraction Marketing" and Discover The Exact Blueprint with making money the easy way! Stop Struggling With Attraction Marketing... Using This Simple Blueprint For Making Money Today Finally! Top Producers Reveal Their Attraction Marketing Blueprint In 7 Short Videos. Revealed - 7 Secrets to Attraction Marketing Domination (Just brainstorming here, hope something clicks!) Dot
Many will not know what a "MLM Blueprint" is. "Attraction marketing"? Use simple terms, for simple people. A lot of people really don't fully understand what a "lead" is, either. Sounds ok. Find a more common used word or term than "eliminate." Keep your words and terms simple, like we use in everyday language: stop, get rid of... The same with "attraction marketing." Even I don't fully understand it. "...making money the easy way!" is a good example of keeping your copy simple. Pretend your readers are hillbillies, but don't over do it. Pretend your readers are 12-years-old, but don't over do it. Not too many want to spend a whole lot of time reading or learning, so the "7 short videos" may turn many off. Plus it will have many thinking, "ugh, more videos for sale." And that above "7 part course" sounds like too much for work many, also. You first have to lead up to that part. "Finally!" is overused. Don't use exclamation points. Lesser quality copy reeks of exclamation points. You should write copy as if you are face to face with a friend, showing a product, so would you say it with such exclamation? No. Don't sell in your headlines. Help your potential customers first, give them free tips, be their friend, then sell them. Say, for example, you got some free traffic, and or you made some sales without having to pay for any advertising or do little work ("leads"). How would you tell a friend about it, and be believed? Maybe, "Here Is How Word of Mouth Made Me An Extra $150 Last Month."??? Don't use words and terms that are painfully overused: secrets, revealed, for the first time ever.... You don't want your potential customers thinking, "yeah, right."
Hi Perry, I really like your tips about talking to 12 yr olds and pretend I was talking to a friend. I understand that, but when I write I tend to "want to sound smart." This is something that I know will get better over time. Thank you for the critique.