Hi, I want to improve my copywriting skills for my website. I have just launched my site and need to seriously improve the web copy. Below is an example of what I would write: Obviously this is just a fictitious example but will serve for discussion. I need constructive comments to help me improve the copy or a good guide that i can study and learn from. Thanks in advance
I just joined, and I've never done forums before, but my contribution is below. I think your copy is pretty good, but it needs some correction in punctuation, and there's a little duplication of terms -- shallow end/deep end above and below in what you offer -- could leave it out above. You also might use and exclamation point for where your text shows excitement.
Thanks web writer, welcome to digitalpoint forums. The current copy is not working effectively at the moment, it has low a low conversion rate. I think I need to pad things out a lot more, my copy is a few hundred words, one of my competitors has over 3000! Peejaydee, if you want to use community towels before they have been fumigated feel free, rather you then me! (Thats why we do it).
conversion don't depend only on the copy, but on a number of factors which all can affect it. Just to cite a few (website design, website speed, target audience...)
So -- what's so hard about padding it out? You have four bullets in three categories. Couldn't you turn those three categories into bulleted paragraphs, where you talk about the pool in one, the instructors in another, and the swim techniques in the third. Maybe take a look at the competitors you mention and see how you compare, then write about that - not "I'm better than they are" but rather mention anything you do or can do (that they just happen to not do) that's to the advantage of the clients. Surely, looking at what the competitors say can at least help you know what to say. Also look at your pool from the client's point of view and speak to that. Many of them will be concerned with safety for their children - speak to that. Some might be concerned with the situation in the shower room. Speak to that - etc., etc. Make those potential clients happy and secure - they're always right, right?
Focus on your grammar and use spellcheck. You spelled labeled wrong and put a "," right after a "?". Also, use a thesaurus to try and spice up your writing. It sounds pretty generic and boring. Hope this helps!
Get a hold of E.B. White's classic essay, "The Elements of Style." It remains the shortest, clearest and best tutorial for effective writing. I'm sure it's available online, or any librarian would be happy to guide you to a copy.
The problem with your copy is that it doesn't speak to emotional benefits. WHY do people learn to swim? Confidence. Fear of drowning. Etc. Those are the emotional benefits your copy needs to get at. Your copy is currently all about features not benefits. This distinction is massively important to improving your copywriting. You don't need to "pad it out" - writing copy for copy's sake will NOT help your conversion rates. In fact the copy needs to be as succinct as possible. This doesn't necessarily mean it should be short, but say everything you have to say in as few words as possible.
Saying you should improve your copy by using an article spinner is like saying you should wax your car with steel wool.
Study deeply other website also on same theme. You will gather many points from them. But don't copy, write in your own language with a tinge of freshness. Good luck!!
Can't swim? We can help you! Whether you're an adult or a child, a beginner or improver, our professional trainers make learning to swim fun and easy. There is plenty of space in your Olympic-sized pool where you will learn the basics, starting in the shallow end. As your confidence and skills grow you'll gradually move towards the deeper end. To help you progress from doggy-paddle to butterfly, not only are our trainers on-hand to teach you in person, but we also provide you with a guide about ten different swimming techniques. Best of all, we offer a one week free trial! That's right, one week of swimming lessons, taught by trained professionals, absolutely free! Joining is easy, either choose 'Free Trial' by clicking the link to your right, or if you would prefer to book the whole course right now click on 'Start Today' . Anyone can learn to swim and so can you! Join today to find out just how easy learning to swim can be with 'company name'.
If you want to learn how to write copy as a whole then what you need to do is HANDWRITE out sales letters from some of the best sites out there (or products). It might seem kind of nonsensical but trust me, my copywriting increased almost 10x int he course of a week just by writing out ONE sales letter a day. It helps you form the structure and learn the lingo or placement, whatever. Trust me it helps a lot. Especially if you want to get good at writing copy in general. As for this, get opinions, like you are doing, and re-write a few times. It's ok to create a bunch of radically different versions just to see it from different viewpoints. you never know you might hit on something much better then if you dont.
You hit it right on the head! Copy should be "benefits" not "features" to start with. A short sentence I came across, that says it all... "Tell me about my roses... not about your fertilizer!"
Overall the copy does not impress me so much. Try to emphasis on the benefits of swimming in the copy. If you are pretty sure that people who read them are highly targeted, then I wouldn't take my time to rewrite the copy to portray the benefits. However, it would be nice if you could just tell why you are so much better than your competitor.
If you want to do it yourself I suggest you to take the Ultimate Copywriting Workshop (here is the link http://bit.ly/YanikSiver ) course from Yanik Silver he is Awesome I just finished his course I cannot imagine something to be better. Here is a free E-Book from Yanik on how to Supercharge Your Copywriting Download the PDF here http://www.viralcontentcreator.com/PDFs/6556344fe8ce4d3fb70977e2cef5a3.pdf"
Thanks for the tips people, they're great. I'm from an engineering background so I automatically list the features and assume people can work out the benefits. I have a lot to absorb at the moment but will have another go rewriting it soon. My neighbour pointed out a couple of things that need changing on my site, so I am rewriting the code for that at the moment. Just out of curiosity what should a good sales page copy cost around?