I am just devastated. I've been married for twenty years and have a thirteen year old son and a fourteen year old daughter. I really have been happy and thought we had a perfect marriage and family. My wife told me last week that she is leaving me - she said she wants a new 'lifestyle'. I just don't get it at all. I can barely move I'm so distraught. I love her and love my children and would do anything for them. I am normally very laid back and nothing much gets me upset. I have to work and can barely think. She says that she wants to be alone and doesn't want another man. She was abandoned and on her own at 16 and says there is something inside her that makes it impossible to get close to anyone. She has always been kind of a depressed person and I guess I never really understood how debilitating depression can be until now. It sucks!! I don't know why I'm writing this on here. I don't know what to do, I feel so damn alone. I cry like a baby every day - it's just pathetic.
Your son and daughter both aware of this Tell them both to convince their mother as maybe it works. Hope everything back to normal soon. DON.
she said She's bored with you. Maybe you need to change your lifestyle. Do something before its too late.
I'm so sorry that this happens to you. Sometimes maybe your wife has a reason to leave and I don't think it's permanent in any way. Make her understand how you feel and keep in touch with her all the times. Even your kids could play a part as well. I pray for you that everything goes back to normal.
Tell her, you'll follow according to the 'new' lifestyle. It's a bit hard to leave all alone and one may become bored in the long run. Ask your wife to live for the children. If she still refuses, show this DP thread!
It's not yet too late, she was still in the mood of don't know what to do.. maybe she just wanted space. And I think you should change your lifestyle. Give her space then after a week or so you can ask her to talk about it. It will work just believe.
I don't know how your relationship was, but what I'm hearing is that she doesn't want the responsibilities associated with raising two teenage children. You mentioned she was on her own at about that age, so she had to act like an adult when she was the teenager and now she has to act like the adult again so her children can enjoy what she didn't!? She probably doesn't realize she's perpetuating the cycle of abandonment and depression but you don't have to get sucked into it... I say: do what she couldn't and move on. There are plenty of fish in that sea looking for a stable guy who wants to raise a family in a committed relationship. There are probably women in the identical situation who thought everything was ideal until one day their husband disappeared.
Sorry to hear about that, maybe you guys could go to some counselling. Maybe you can still work it out.
Hey, sit with her and interact with her.You should not leave her, she's your mate. And tell your children about that, and ask them to speak with your wife, atleast for that she will be convinced. The best way to do anything is to talk, talk with her and try to convince her, say that you will do anything for her, and if she asks anything do it now. If you cannot do that, request her and meet a psychiatrist , i mean a consultant, may be he can help you to sort out the differences. Marriages are not meant to be broken, they are meant to be maken. Please dontlet her leave you, or u don't leave her. Hey i have a question: Do you spend time with your family, or do you spend your whole time working, working, working and all that., Do anything to stop this, she is your wife, beg her, Since she is not feeling well, you are the person who should do request or beg her. Go take her and meet a consultant, a doctor who can handle this situation. Doont dont dont dont leave her at all.
Man... Sorry to hear about that. Just to help out, I'm going to point this out. You're seeking help with your marriage from a geek-forum online. Think maybe this could be a lead to something? Think of it like this... Been married 20 years, she's probably having a mid-life crisis and you're about to have one too if you haven't already... You might as well go out and get you some. You know what I mean. Keep your chin up, man.
I feel sorry for you here, Doug No matter what has happened, you still need to be strong and hopefully your wife will changes her mind someday...
That sucks dude. At least she isn't faking it by sticking around and making you more miserable with her moping, or obvious fakeness.
You don't try to convince a woman who wants to leave, that does nothing but keep you at the edge of your seat if she does stay. What you do is just make sure she knows/sees that it's hurting you. Sometime people somehow think they can find something better once set free, but usually end up running back. Apart from that, i'm going to say I think what you said about her being abandoned makes her believe that's all her life is going to be based on: getting dumped. So leaving you is her mind's way of making sure you don't do it first. And yeah, i've similar experience as you.
I am so sorry to hear that friend, I hope you do better and I hope she comes to her senses because living by yourself is to hard.