My Sales Letter - Your Opinions Please

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by DamonDallah, Jul 12, 2008.

  1. WZT

    WZT Peon

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    #21
    Hi,

    I'm not a pro, but here's what I think:

    Pros:
    - the page definitely looks like a sales page
    - the formatting is great (maybe a bit less Bold/Italic, only on the essential issues, would create a bigger impact on the main message you want to send)
    - the picture is great! (you could put it somewhere at the top in my opinion for even more credibility)
    - you explained who you are and why your knowledge would help them (credibility - very important!)

    Cons:
    - The headline is good, but the first part is too long (See How A Recent Discovery Exposed A Hidden Secret That Allows Anyone To Get Their..) For at least 5 seconds while I read that I had no idea what your page was about. It would be easier to read if you got straight to the point and shortened the first part a bit.
    - The letter is very long. It's very good, but long, and the impression I got at a first sight was that you are not convinced enough with your product and/or that you feel the need to write more in order to convince your readers. If you believe that your product is really good, that what you have to offer is unique and amazing, I could be convinced by a shorter letter which only points out the essential. However, I do have to agree with Jose's opinion as well, maybe other readers will look at it his way.
    - You shouldn't repeat yourself too much, and I would prefer if the book description and testimonials were separate - just a personal preference though.

    I don't know how your previous letter looked like, but this one definitely looks professional and should bring you a nice amount of buyers, even if you don't change anything about it. Good luck!
     
    WZT, Jul 19, 2008 IP
  2. kozyavka

    kozyavka Active Member

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    #22
    Wow! Great sales letter, I like it! I think you'll be fine:)
     
    kozyavka, Jul 19, 2008 IP