Hi, I have never wrote one of these before, so I was wondering if it is okay before I start to submit. Any comments or ideas are appreciated - thank you.
Honestly, it reads more like an ad than a PR to me. For a PR to be effective and picked up by media outlets, it needs to read more like a news story. Answer the Who, What, Why, When, Where questions that should be covered in any good news story and close with a link to the site. Nothing wrong with ads, at all! I use them MUCH more than PR's. You just need to consider why you are writing a PR statement instead of an ad along with whether or not that is the best way to go. The idea behind a PR is to get other media outlets to pick up your story and circulate it. They won't do that if it is just another ad or not relevant to their media coverage.
second is much better then the first one, still you watch the standard PR release rules, try googling for it, if you won't find anything send a direct message to me, i'll send you some by email
Yeah, the second one is a lot better. But why is every sentence on a seperate line in the first paragraph? You might want to fix that. Just another suggestion, your first sentence should always cover whats going to be stated in the paragraph. I'm not absolutely sure that your first sentence on the first paragraph really covers what all is being stated there. The others are really good. Overall, good job.
couple of more suggestions, if I may. Headline should tell what the PR is about. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that the PR is not about "Frustrated employees looking for a platform to get their working issues heard", but rather about the fact that "Brian Richards launches Workhoo.com site, which will change the way every employee in every company communicate with their managers". Next goes the introduction which generally answers to the questions of who, what, when, where and why. Then goes body, which gives further details, quotes relevant to the news About - this section provides background information on the company or an individual issuing the PR Finally, Media Contact. Something like, "For more information please contact .... or visit..." Hope it helps.
secone PR is much better, but you want to work on the lay-out a little. it doesnt looks very organized at the moment.
dont mean to be harsh but i would not personally share an article i had not released this site is indexed by google also put some keyword links to your site in the article
PRWeb Direct has some good tips on writing press releases. You should read this page and follow their formula: http://www.prwebdirect.com/pressreleasetips.php