Martha vs Maxine *Martha's Way* Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. *Maxine's Way * Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway! *Martha's Way* To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. *Maxine's Way * Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year. *Martha's Way* When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. *Maxine's Way * Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you. *Martha's Way* If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." *Maxine's Way * If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!" *Martha's Way* Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. *Maxine's Way * Celery? Never heard of it! *Martha's Way* Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. *Maxine's Way * The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't. *Martha's Way* Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. *Maxine's Way * Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! *Martha's Way* If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. *Maxine's Way * Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you. *Martha's Way* Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. *Maxine's Way * Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!
Just wondering... do people who aren't very fluent in English/not their first language (but have a fairly good understanding of the language) still find it relatively easy to read quickly? Do their brains still instantly decipher the words? Or does it become much harder? I'd love to hear a perspective of it from anyone who normally speaks/reads another language.
F**k u.what do u mean by minor or major.Santa/Banta jokes r fine,but whats the need of putting name of Punjab there. Some rep gifted.
not only is it very very very very very very old, it's been posted on DP like 17 times then again searching for dups might be hard based on the 17 different thread titles!!
You may have read it 17 times as you are a member here for last one year and more then 8000 posts, but a person who joined it just 2 months ago, read it first time here.Yes it is old no doubt.
Hey Jimmy...I dont think I wrote something against anyone or religion. If you are saying that I am using the name of Punjab. THen you can check it in your location too. And It was relplied to a member who was saying that it was a comment on a minor community in India. SO I told him that we are not minors. We belong to the Khalsa Fauj of Dasam Pita.
hahaha. this totally catch my attention but when i read t.. haha. old news. i thought this would be something totally unbelievable.. but it seems many havent read this before.. so lets just say classic
The 6 Affairs The 1st Affair: A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM .. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!" The 2nd Affair: A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!" The 3rd Affair: A mortician was working late one night He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity." ! So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. "I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to o his wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!" Other three affairs are here http://indiancars2007.googlepages.com/dailyjokes