1. Advertising
    y u no do it?

    Advertising (learn more)

    Advertise virtually anything here, with CPM banner ads, CPM email ads and CPC contextual links. You can target relevant areas of the site and show ads based on geographical location of the user if you wish.

    Starts at just $1 per CPM or $0.10 per CPC.

My First Proper Splash Page! - Please rip it apart

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by bertuseng, Dec 3, 2009.

  1. #1
    Hi there, I have gotten some good advice from this forum before, so I am asking very nicely if you would please tell me where I can improve this splash page.

    This is a temporary splash page promoting a free report, while waiting for the official launch of my new product.

    Please give me your honest opinions and tell me how I can make this page better. (It currently converts at 45%, but this is mostly to my existing list, so the % will go down a lot for normal traffic)

    Thanks a lot!

    P.S. It's the first link in my signature...
     
    bertuseng, Dec 3, 2009 IP
  2. omshanti

    omshanti Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    515
    Likes Received:
    13
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    110
    #2
    I find the page cluttered with too much information.

    It's got to be clean with 1 single objective - to help people with driving traffic to their websites.

    It's too colorful. A squeeze page or splash page as you call it has to direct attention of your readers to the main objective of your page.

    There is absolutely no persuasive copy on the page except headlines.

    The text is too short to read i.e. font size.

    The page as a whole is completely disorganized and the images are too small to be read.

    I think the title can be much better than what it is right now.

    I think you got to redo the whole page again.
     
    omshanti, Dec 5, 2009 IP
  3. laurencewins

    laurencewins Peon

    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    2
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #3
    You have numerous spelling and punctuation letters.
    Sentences are too long.
    There is too much info on the page to absorb and you would lose people.

    You say you are using that for new people.
    Offering them one on one training from you means nothing if they don't know your name or who you are.

    Perhaps you should use that page as a lead capture page and create a new splash page. However, you would still need to fix the errors and rewrite the material so it is snappier.
     
    laurencewins, Dec 5, 2009 IP
  4. bertuseng

    bertuseng Peon

    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    1
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #4
    hanks for the info. I changed it a bit. Don't know if it is better. Any suggestions for the heading or the course description?
     
    bertuseng, Dec 11, 2009 IP
  5. lenlatimer

    lenlatimer Peon

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #5
    Hi,
    Yep simply the page.

    "Instant" traffic isn't very believable.

    You'd probably be better off with just one ebook. But you need to sell me on the the guru-and if he's a guru, why is it free?

    How about adding some testimonials or other social proof that it works?

    you need to do some selling - explain the problem, agitate it, and then solve it for them- fast and easy.

    Good luck.
     
    lenlatimer, Dec 11, 2009 IP
  6. in7

    in7 Peon

    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #6
    I would suggest getting rid of the black headline at the very top, un-cluttering the sign-up box ( make the name field mandatory or don't have it at all), and cutting back on the e-books.
     
    in7, Dec 12, 2009 IP
  7. bertuseng

    bertuseng Peon

    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    1
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #7
    Argh! I couldn't understand the comments fully, but now I understand. I ACTUALLY had the wrong page in my signature.

    The proper one is in my signature now, if anyone wants to comment on it. It's only one ebook and shorter and to the point.
     
    bertuseng, Dec 12, 2009 IP
  8. taminder

    taminder Peon

    Messages:
    581
    Likes Received:
    4
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #8
    to be honest, it looks like one of those "get-rich-quick scheme" websites which not many people trust/ or ignore.
     
    taminder, Dec 12, 2009 IP
  9. csigeeks

    csigeeks Greenhorn

    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    0
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    #9
    hmmm alot going on there
     
    csigeeks, Dec 12, 2009 IP