Hi, I just completed a copywriting, (website nt launch, so DON'T sign up yet) www.resell-stuff.com Do comment bt pls be gentle... Thanks Samuel
Hey, Samuel, Congratulations on your first copywriting completed I like your job - it sounds attractive and intriguing...And your beginning is very catchy What I think might be improved - the overall design of that page reflects the format of your text and I don't think using various fonts (+font colours and sizes) is a very good idea... Not to get too pedantic but you need to work on the punctuation of your "that-clauses" - in some cases in your text there are unnecessary commas. However, my overall impression is that your job is very good.
Finally someone that understood what copy is all about. It's all about the story and the title is very well written. The main copy can use some improvement, but you are definitely on the right track. Regards, George
ha-ha, thanks for such good comment... anyway, my friend say it was rather childish... bt maybe its because I'm a 18 years old... Well... I tried to make it sound personal and have you guys being able to relate to the story. I live in a different timezone from most of you guys, so most of the time, the launch time is on a midnight.
I don't know if you'll consider this "gentle," but I call it constructive criticism. Honestly, I couldn't get through the entire sales letter because a lot of it was poorly written. You have way too many commas inserted randomly into the text, which makes for slower reading when I have to pause and figure out what's wrong with the sentence I just read. Example: That's what you have. Speaking on strictly the commas alone (no other edits have been made), this is what it should look like: Like I said, I didn't make any other edits to that small portion other than remove unneccessary commas. There are several places in your letter where you have inserted commas that don't need to be there. There are several places in the text that need to be revised. I gave you only the basics that I happened to notice right away.