Hi all, I have a new product going live hopefully next week. It is called 'Mr X's $1.5 Million Dollar Formula' Much appreciated if I can get some review/critique of the salesletter. Your comments, harsh or soft, both welcome. Just looking for some honest feedback really. Thanks in advance.
Always cautious of the over inflated claims.........learning the marketing business on the net is good....paying someone who "hypes" is not so wise... Get your help from someone who will teach you how to do it......without those unbelievable claims......paying a real coach is alright..(I do not do that)
Hi InternetWarrior OK, my crtique and please note this is based on the fact that I am both a writer and a marketing professional. You appear to tick the right boxes, in that you are trying to sell the benefits not the facts; people buy benefits not facts. If I have any problems (which I do) if the product is unique then why does your "sales letter" look and read exactly like all the others. I have no experience of your product - obviously; but to me the letter is too long, badly laid out (design), and shouts "snake oil" at me. There are so many letters like this on the internet it is very difficult for the average person to see the "wood from the trees". Yours might be (no experience) a 100% genuine offer, but many with letters like yours aren't. To be honest, the content is not too bad from a copy point of view, just you are taking exactly the same route as everybody else. 850 - 900px (ish) width and lots of length. There is nothing original about the presentation, and at the end of the day it will be both the presentaion and the copy that sells. To give you an example; only 19% of web users go below the fold, those that do scan read the copy below. The further down the page the less interest we have. You need to have a clear call to action above the fold. At the moment it's not there, it's more an invitation to scroll down the page. Check out Jabov Nielsons' eyetracking and usability studies they may help to "concentrate" the message. As I said, for me the content is not too bad (sorry I'm not the type of person who would take action so I'm trying not to be biased), it's the delivery that will let you down. It is so like every other "ATTENTION Aspiring Entrepreneurs:" site. That in it'self may be a put off. I could atleast 10 scrolls below the fold. In that alone you have lost me. If you cannot deliver the message in 600 words then ask yourself why not. 1. Tell them what your system will do – and why 2. Tell them 3. Tell them you told them. But please don't use so many scrolls and more than 600 words. Everything on page 1 doesn't "invite people in" you are telling them, you dont get people interested, it is far more "you need to do this rather than "comeinside and see my secret", get them to do deep then you have "real converts" Also you have a way to measure the effecitivness of your intital copy. Enough I think Good luck