I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Dumas The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? - Sigmund Freud I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Anonymous "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Sam Kinison "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." - Patrick Murray Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Nash The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... - Anonymous You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Henny Youngman My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. - Anonymous A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." - Anonymous First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive." HOPE ALL THE GUYS GIVE A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!