Make me Laugh $50 prize

mostly the fat woman in the enter :X its killing!

 

This thread was fun but if the OP didnt response he can be ban by doing such a fraud contest right?

 

ok, i had to brighten the pic to see it, my brightness on my monitor is pathetic

 

for any that might have my same issue

 

This should clear things up for you

 

Who’s the boss?

 

That's hilarious.

Shawn who is the winner?

 

Well Honestly I don't think there will be a winner here... Its probably a very nice bait to get Free content for a 'joke' site.

But i guess the originator of the thread should at least declare the winner and give him the $50...

There are more than $50 content in this thread.

 

Why I fired my secretary?

Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway.

I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday” and probably a present for me.

Forget “Happy Birthday”, She didn’t even say “Good Morning”.

I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you, the children will remember”.

Children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.

I started to the office I was feeling pretty low.

As I walked into my office my secretary, Janet, said, “Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday.”

And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.

Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know,
it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.”

I said,! ” That’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.” We went to lunch.

We didn’t go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place.

We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day.

We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”

I said, “No, I guess not.”

She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.” After arriving at her apartment,

she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go change.”

“Sure,” I excitedly replied. I start getting excited & i thought today is my lucky day.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes,

she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by……….

my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing “Happy Birthday”.

And there I sat… on the couch… naked….!!!!!!

 

I didnt laugh at any of the jokes either, I smiled, but didnt laugh. So here is some more.

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/08/friday_cephalopod_the_vampire.php

http://www.quantumlounge.com/data/terror/what_to_do.htm

http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

http://www.c00lstuff.com/285/Autopsy_prank_video/

http://www.koreus.com/video/smart-bird.html

 

Alright, so there's 3 people. They came back from the army.
One has a grenade.
One has a knife.
And one has a gun.

They all went in an airplane, and the guy with the knife breaks the window, and shoots his knife down the plane.

The guy with the gun triggers the gun and shoots it down.

The guy with the grenade takes the bomb and shoots it down, causing an explosion.

They all get off the plane, and the guy that shot the knife sees a little girl crying.
He asks the girl "Hey there, why are you crying?"
The little girl responds, "Someone shot a knife from up there and killed my mom."

Then the guy with the gun saw another girl crying, and goes up to her asking,"Hey there, why are you crying?"
The little girl responds, "Somebody shot a gun from up there and killed my mom."

Then the guy with the grenade sees another girl laughing so hard, he goes up to her and asks, "Hey there, why are you laughing so much?"
The girl responds, "Because, I farted and the house exploded! "

Haha .

 

- Man has 2 hands for: -




and


- Woman has 2 hands for: -

 

better be careful with pics like that

 

How come there is no Winner? Was this a false contest?

 

Added negative rep. Atleast try to keep us updated! If he gets one more neg rep, he'll be into the reds.