love merriage or arrange merriage, which one is intresting and life long or strong?

Now that its evident, ill continue the fun some other day.

Arranged marraiges are not necessarily unwilling. Many people willingly enter into arrange marraige to kill that lonely feeling during mid life crisis

 

Well, try all you'd like but it's not going to happen. Like I said, it takes alot to make me angry.

I can understand that different countries have different viewpoints when it comes to marriage. However, I can say that from MY personal viewpoint, the concept of an arranged marriage is absolutely ridiculous. I'm not trying to ridicule the beliefs of other people, but I don't believe someone has the right to choose my life partner for me, whether they are my parents or not.

 

My personal viewpoint is that the concept of speed dating, one night stands and dating 10,000 men and sleeping with half of them and still not ending up with 1 guy is much more ridiculous than trusting your parents and letting them choose a life partner and have a marriage which is successful most of the times as seen in many asian countries

 

But on the other side of the coin you have very dissatisfied couples who are living as husband or wife to keep up the appearance in the society.

You are forced to compromise and more often than not the girl has no say on the choice of the groom.

So reconsider the merit of love marriages.

 

Many people don't need to end up married for the rest of their lives. That's their choice, but just because they don't want to get married doesn't mean they should be deprived of companionship when they want it. If they're being safe/smart about it, who cares? Why do you only target women in your little tirade, by the way? I'm sure there are just as many men who "sleep around" as there are women.

I don't "trust" anyone to choose a partner for me. If I want to get married, I will choose the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

 

Thats a rare case .... Arrange marriages are only "arranged" when both the sides are desperate for companionship.. and neither of them would want to loose the other and go through that lonely feeling coz of which they landed up in arrange marriage.

 

Let me save you the proffessional charges of a shrink. You have issues when it comes to trust .... work it out while you are still young

 

My issues are my own, thank you very much. In any case, choosing not to trust another person with my future isn't ridiculous -- it's sane. By being allowed the liberty to choose my own partner, I have only myself to hold accountable if it doesn't work out. I'd rather hold myself accountable and learn from my mistakes then walk into a marriage arranged by my parents and have THAT not work out. Talk about resentment.

 

Lets talk about your personal problems when you can afford to pay me my proffessional charges.

For now, lets have a general discussion on why not arrange marraige , why dont "people" trust their own parents etc.....


LOL... cudnt resist myself ... cya.

 

Why don't some people trust their parents? Because some people weren't meant to be parents.

 

yeah, i agri wit denisej, stl am confused as 2 y dis thread was started in 1st place

 

Havent you heard the saying " Everything happens for a reason "

 

thanx 2 all 4 givin u r own view abt dis.

 

I beg to differ. arranged marriages are more of convenience than merit. The girls have literally no option in such marriages. How many times have you heard a girl say no to a groom? How many times have they refused to backoff at the last moment.

How many times have the bride demanded a dowry from the groom?

Well it seems such marriages are stacked in favour of the groom.
Atleast in love marriages she does have a say over the groom.

 

You forgot a marriage of convenience.

Still, there are major components that make a relationship. As I understand it, with out some form of outside force, one needs to have at least 2 of these for the relationship to be a successful one.

#1. Trust
#2. Friendship
#3. Passion.

Often, a couple who are passionately in love will get married using passion as one of these 2 attributes, and their marriage will be successful for a time. But often passion fades, leaving them with only one other needed aspect. The marriages that seem to be successful the longest are ones where the couple are friends with each other as well as passionate about each other, and trusting of one another in the beginning. Then, as time passes, and passion fades, and they get older, the couple often grows to be more like a pair of very close friends, who have been together all their lives.

If a couple put together by an arranged marriage can grow to trust each other, and to be friends, it does not necessarily matter if they have a passion for the other or not, as a fondness may well develop between them, even if it is not a passionate fondness.

Also, keep in mind that when one falls into passionate infatuation, the person they are infatuated with can be a dangerous person, one that can potentially hurt them.

I don’t see anything wrong with parents arranging dates, or relationships for their children, or with children seeking the parents advice on important matters such as this, but I do believe that the last decision on the matter should lie with the person who must live within the bounds of that marriage.

 

You seem to beg too much .... erm.. I mean to differ ... j/k

 

I am pretty familiar on the views that Indians have on marriage and the parent's opinions on their future, although the East Indians living here are much liberal on their views, some of them even marry outside their race.

Anyhow, I cannot comprehend the idea of the parent's involvement in all this. I fully understand the concern, the counsel, etc...BUT to actually tell you that this is the person you have to marry is a different story, you are the one who will have to live with the person not them! It's scary.

What happen if they choose someone that I do not like at all or that I feel no attraction whatsoever? Do I have to marry the person anyways?

 

NOPE..

You guys dont know what the concept of arrange marraige is and then you keep rambling.. lol..

Arrange marriage means , the parents introduce their child to many prospective candidates, then the guy meets whomever he likes, if the girl likes the guy they meet often, discuss their future and whatever.. and then they decide to get married.

Its not like your parents ask you to marry a donkey and you have to whether you want it or not.

Arrange marriage means your parents arrange prospective candidates fr u .... as simple as dat.

 

Sort of like asking friends and family to set you up on dates, which is often done here in the US. I think that the reason most people of European descent think of arranged marriages as the parents saying 'this is who you will marry' is because that's how it worked for European Royalty and Nobility, as marriages were used as a tactic for forming treaties and alliances.

 

Ohhh, what a relief. It is like a "set up". Nothing wrong with that. Now, it would be wrong if your parents tell you "We want you to marry Indira" and because you do not want to disappoint them you marry the girl anyways even though you do not really like her.