In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read not is. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: - English well talking. - Here speeching American.
There are do-it-yourself tools for such funny translations. Let loose any of the on-line translation services on the Internet of a piece of text and you're in for a laugh too! (Hopefully not too many errors in the last sentence )
Wondering why the management spend alot of money on the hotel but not willing to spend abit money to get a translator