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Looking for feedback on my (probably bad) copywriting

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by webinfinitynz, Oct 13, 2019.

  1. #1
    Hi all,

    This is my first post, so please be gentle. :)
    I'd like to get some feedback please on my main web design landing page, which I've just finished re-designing to be much simpler and I hope more clear.

    I thought I'd better ask is it OK to post a link to this page? My intention is not to self promote, it's an honest request to get some feedback on the sales copy.

    I did try to write it to be about the reader (and not me), focus on results and clearly show what we offer but I'm not a pro copywriter, so I think it needs a lot of improvements.

    EDIT: Now I'm in the right section (thanks Spoiltdiva), here's the landing page;
    The main goal of the page is to generate leads for my digital agency, from paid ads (Google, Facebook etc), in the Wellington region of New Zealand.

    Another thing, this isn't really copy feedback but does anyone have an opinion on that image background (of Wellington harbor) in the hero section, at the top?
    I know, it's not really a digital agency/web design type image but my thought process was, this landing page is intended just for people in Wellington, so at least they'll know they've landed in the right place / may increase the trust factor.
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
    webinfinitynz, Oct 13, 2019 IP
  2. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

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    Trophy Points:
    1. Keep the Wellington photo - reinforces the homegrown factor which is important. If you've decided to buy local you need to know the company really is local.
    2. The text seems to cover all the bases
    3. This is probably the only bit that caused me concern - will a potential customer think it's them that have to do the learning? or that the only opportunity to share their goals is during that "no stress chat". I'm guessing "no stress" means "no obligation" but who is paying for that time? Does it come out of your sales budget or is it added to their bill?
    4. I liked the video testimonials but am concerned that Riverridge use Joomla and are at freeparking (ugh), Acorn don't have a website, childforum (I felt dirty googling that one) aren't on WordPress and their hosting is in Auckland.
    5. Your testimonials are repeated over and over but there's no photo of the team proudly standing in front of the building, in your conference room etc. It would add credibility and people like to see who they are talking to. Ideally, in this section I'd have the two people a prospective customer are most likely to deal with a personal statement - "I get a huge buzz seeing a customer succeed online", that type of thing.
    sarahk, Oct 13, 2019 IP
  3. webinfinitynz

    webinfinitynz Greenhorn

    Likes Received:
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    Trophy Points:
    Thanks for the great feedback!

    Re 3; Great points, I'll try to tweak that.

    Re 4; All of the sites were made by us when we used Joomla, we've recently moved over to WordPress. All sites hosted on our server in Auckland (only reliable & fast choice we found).

    Re 5; Thanks, we'll work on that.

    So apart from that, the general copy is not too bad?

    Also, we've made a general video promo (currently on https://webinfinity.co.nz, in the section below the 'We create, you succeed' section). I'm in 2 minds if we should include that on the Wellington web design landing page. I already have the 3 video testimonials on that page, so my thought process was keep that page as simple and focused as possible.
    webinfinitynz, Oct 13, 2019 IP
  4. nshep

    nshep Greenhorn

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    Trophy Points:
    I'm not sure I would align the copy as justified on really small screens. I just shrunk my browser window down to a iPhone 5 screen and it looks a bit patchy. I would also increase the size of your H1 and logo at that size. Aside from that, I think you are on the right track.
    nshep, Oct 14, 2019 IP