Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: "There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me." Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Lady: "No, but he sure was friendly Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little Old Lady: "He started to rub my thigh." Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Lady: "No, I didn't stop him." Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Bob died some 30 years ago." Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: "He began to rub my breasts." Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady: "No, I did not stop him." Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: "His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!" Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: "Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!" Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little Old Lady: "Hell, no!" He just yelled, "April Fool!" "And, that's when I shot him...the little bastard!"