Before I get slated for this I'd better point out I treat my girlfriend like the princess she is. apart from number 18 sometimes
heheheh nice one i like the .....dutch oven........ funny stufff....... i saw madcenter give his girl the old number 19...... fantastic looked like hlyfield but then she got up ......... ever herd of a chuck norris round house...... madcenter jaw still to this day wired shut....that shit was nearly 6 years ago..... DAMN
macnesa... you are too right... luckily i get the jaw released tomorrow, no more soups for me! I like your favorite though, how did your girl react when you did this to her last saturrrday.... 12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
Heh, since we're on the topic of a*hole boyfriends, you forgot these: 1. Criticize your girlfriend. Often. Tell her she looks like s*** and she's getting fat. Size 8 is no size 6, after all. Point out that Pamela Anderson didn't get fat after she had kids, why should she be fat now? 2. When she's out of town and you're supposed to be dog-sitting just after she's moved 10 miles across town, let the little bastard out on its own, go back inside, have a few beers, watch a movie, and forget about it completely for at least four hours, by which time you should no longer be able to find it. When she calls that night, neglect to tell her about the missing dog. Mention it casually once she gets home the next day, and laugh when she runs around frantically trying to find it. 3. When and if she asks you to accompany her to her office Christmas party, show up an hour and a half late (making sure you're half in the bag already), dress in dirty jeans and a t-shirt (extra bonus points for vulgar slogans), hit on her boss, insult the senior partner, drink as much as you can (further bonus points if you can pick out the recovering alcoholic in the group and challenge him to a shot drinking contest, then insult his manhood when he refuses) and when your girlfriend succumbs to intense embarrassment, loudly proclaim, "F*** YOU ALL," before making your triumphant exit. Puke in her car on the way home. 4. Forget her birthday and when she mentions it, announce that it's 'not your thing' and go out to a strip club with your friends. 5. Alternately, break up with her just before her birthday and all major holidays - it will relieve you of the need to buy her a gift, while also ensuring that you won't have to suffer through Christmas dinner with her family and their boring stories. The only detractor from that is that you won't once again get to ogle her hot cousin across the table. 6. When your girlfriend needs to move, feign a back injury and stay at home. Whatever you do, don't help. If any of your male friends need help the same weekend, however, get up immediately and go help them. 7. When your car breaks down, borrow hers. Get involved in at least one accident that is your fault, don't tell her, and return the car on empty. 8. If you sense she's about to break up with you, GET IN THERE AND DO IT FIRST! Make sure to outline all of her faults. Whatever you do, don't leave before you ask for her hot cousin's phone number!