Laughter - The best medicine Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner. Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine". Sardar thinks "how poetic" Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard". ******* Sardar at bar in New York. Man on his right says "Johny Walker single" Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married" ******* Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but?? How much is DRIVING salary...? ******* Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!! ******* 2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, He puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO Have great time...... Regards to you all. Ashwini
Hi all, Here comes some more : Losing all your friends Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends." Brother wanted A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,"send me a brother".... Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER".... Meaning of WIFE Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!" Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!" Importance of a period Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?" Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away." Confident vs. confidential A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential? " Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! " Anger management? Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?" Wife: "I clean the toilet." Husband: "How does that help?" Wife: "I use your toothbrush ." Enjoy everybody. regards to you all. Ashwini
Hahaha.... nice jokes. It has been quite a while since I updated my jokes site. Your jokes come in handy. CHeers!
Hey where all of you are gone ... you all should post your stock here....here are some more frpm me : Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early. Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early. Love Someone Truly - You will die daily. 1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED. 2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY 3. Three FASTEST means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3. Tell to Woman Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.. 4.. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends. 6.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR. 7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life. 8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer : On their MARRIAGE. 9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL. 10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake. Looking forward to have some nice jokes from you as well . Regards. Ashwini
For DP, * A Sardar's declaration on a new year "I will never marry in my life and I will give the same advice to my children". * Behind every successful student there is a good teacher, but behind every failed student....... A BEAUTIFUL Teacher. * Sardar to a conductor: Should i buy tickets for my children ? Conductor : Only if they r above eight. sardar: Thank God, i have only six children.. * A sardar got promotion as manager..To give surprise to his wife he telephoned her and said tonight you are going to sleep with the manager. * Once sardar's radio was damaged, He opens it & finds a dead rat inside. Sardar:Oh GOD! Singer is dead. * 5 hi-tech sardar inventions: Waterproof towel. Solar powerd torch. Book on how 2 read. Pedal powerd wheelchair. Umbrella with holes 2 c if its raining. More coming soon...
How guys select the girl How guys select the girl they want to marry A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man is impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money. Guess which lady he chose to marry? Think like a man . . . (scroll down for the answer) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * He married the most beautiful one!!!!!! Enjoy. Ashwini
Here comes another one : Santa was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "the one who reads this is donkey " Santa though for an hour, erased and wrote back, "the one who writes this is donkey " Enjoy laughing. Regards to you all. Ashwini
One from me : A man had a lazy horse.That horse didn't want to run,just walked lazy when he rode on it.That man was at a loss what to do,so he went to a local vet.Vet thought a lot and gave him 2 chillies-one red chilly and one green chilly and told him "when you will push this green one to your horse's as..hole it will start to run at 20km/h and when you push this red one it will run at 30km/h".The man was happy to get the solution.He came back home and pushed the green one,the horse jumped once and start to run at 20km/h,but he fell from the horse back.He was at a loss how to catch the horse.Suddenly he got the idea and started to run at 30km/h and easily caught the horse
few fact that will make you laugh : **Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does. **What is a man's definition of foreplay? Half an hour of serious begging! Enjoy. Ashwini