Judge my Squeeze Page - "Free Traffic Secrets"

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by amund94, Feb 24, 2008.

  1. #1
    amund94, Feb 24, 2008 IP
  2. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #2
    I wouldn't opt in, but I'm probably not your target. :)

    As to the document itself, I think the ethos is damaged by the constant use of capitalization. The document is working too hard to create a false sense of urgency.

    The general arrangement is fine, but the emphasis needs some serious work.

    The consistency needs work too. For instance, one second you're using a lowercase "a" and the next, an uppercase "a." Pick one.

    The document needs a little work in the clarity department as well. Aside from the emphasis issues, it feels to "busy."

    Take a step back and think about the cognate strategies that are at play in your document.

    By the way, on a supra level, it presents fine, but you may want to play with a light background color, so your main segment pops a little.

    Good luck with it!
     
    marketjunction, Feb 24, 2008 IP
  3. Perry Rose

    Perry Rose Peon

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    #3
    No, I wouldn't give you my e-mail address and name. Sorry.

    If a site won't give me more info than that, and I have to give them my address just to get more, I back out of the site.
     
    Perry Rose, Feb 24, 2008 IP
  4. Badlands07

    Badlands07 Well-Known Member

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    #4
    I have to agree with some of the other comments. Keep the capitalization consistent which will make it look for professional. I may not be your target audience as I see so many of these pages, but it may convert to someone. I think it is trying to hard with too much urgency. If I could learn more (videos, pictures, testimonies if I scrolled down a bit I may be more interested. Just my 2 cents - good luck!
     
    Badlands07, Feb 24, 2008 IP
  5. amund94

    amund94 Well-Known Member

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    #5
    Thanks! :)

    It helped..
     
    amund94, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  6. geegel

    geegel Well-Known Member

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    #6
    I personally didn't like it. Not because it is bad in itself, but because is very much like thousands others across the web. When I see words like "Easily" and "Secret" in the title, I'm instantly turned off. They are the mark of the lazy or unimaginative copywriter.

    To give you some alternatives, here are some quick thoughts:

    Every 34 minutes, your website misses 12 visitors.
    Claim this report to make it stop now.


    More traffic you want. More traffic you'll get.
    This is the report you must read.


    You'll kick yourself after reading this report.
    Why?
    Because you'll realize how much traffic you are overlooking.


    As for the emergency feel, you might want to back it up with a real scarcity trigger such as a deadline or max number of downloads.

    Additionally, you might want to change the text in the submit button to a more compelling one.

    Also, from a technical standpoint, it would be recommendable to blacklist disposable e-mail services such as spamgourmet.

    Hope this helps.

    Best regards, George
     
    geegel, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  7. Perry Rose

    Perry Rose Peon

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    #7
    Putting in a squeeze page is one of the biggest mistakes a webmater can make, but that one was nice.
     
    Perry Rose, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  8. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #8
    Quoted to highlight this. Specificity is a key selling tool, yet so many copywriters (or those doing their own stuff) fail to be specific.

    Make more money. Yawn.

    Make $2,876 more every 7 days. Interesting.

    Also, specificity enhances the ethos of the document.

    As to squeeze pages being a mistake, no they're not. Perhaps you're thinking that this is the "home page" of a site, but that's not what a squeeze page is (or is for). Or perhaps I misunderstood what you meant.

    Anyway, I'm not saying people don't use them incorrectly, just saying that they are a vital element for all of us who build profitable lists.
     
    marketjunction, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  9. dynashox

    dynashox Premium Member Staff

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    #9
    Wow...... You probably receive good traffic to your squeeze page as it says "Bandwidth Limit Exceed" right now. :D
     
    dynashox, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  10. SitPoMk

    SitPoMk Peon

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    #10
    naaw i wouldn't opt-in

    The large "bandwidth limit exceeded" letters are pretty much a turn off :D
     
    SitPoMk, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  11. webgal

    webgal Peon

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    #11
    Yep. Nothing there.
     
    webgal, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  12. geegel

    geegel Well-Known Member

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    #12
    Here is the page from Google's cache.

    Regards, George
     
    geegel, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  13. readezarchive

    readezarchive Active Member

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    #13
    Might wanna do something about that
     
    readezarchive, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  14. spyxx

    spyxx Peon

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    #14
    let me know when you get it back up...
     
    spyxx, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  15. scottspfd82

    scottspfd82 Active Member

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    #15
    Besides the "Bandwidth Exceeded" message, it looks like any lame squeeze page I'd see on the net. Nothing personal, but I don't see any value there, so no, I wouldn't opt in.

    Sell me on something original. Why should I opt in to your newsletter, as opposed to the thousands of other choices I have? SELL ME!!!
     
    scottspfd82, Feb 28, 2008 IP
  16. AON21

    AON21 Active Member

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    #16
    Even the Google cache is blank... I'll subscribe in case it comes back
     
    AON21, Feb 29, 2008 IP
  17. amund94

    amund94 Well-Known Member

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  18. microtekblue

    microtekblue Well-Known Member

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    #18
    I think its looks good.

    If I was a novice visitor seeking knowledge, I might throw you my email.

    Try to clean it up a bit. Its too cluttered.

    But good job overall!
     
    microtekblue, Mar 1, 2008 IP
  19. AON21

    AON21 Active Member

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    #19
    I find this style is repeated too often and makes every site seem like the same repetitious cliche.

    It's not what you've written that is the problem, but the layout and font selection which makes it cluttered and uninspiring. I guess sometimes words aren't enough.

    I will keep an eye on this thread as I'd like to see you try something a little different from 'the pack' :)
     
    AON21, Mar 1, 2008 IP
  20. webgal

    webgal Peon

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    #20
    I like specificity as well as the other copywriters. Some good advice here.

    I also like headlines/subheads and copy that is written with a benefit to the audience. A quickie example"

    Lots of highly-targeted traffic to your site inspires conversions. Lots of conversions makes your bank account more attractive.

    So how do you make this wonderful thing happen? Find out how with this free report.
     
    webgal, Mar 3, 2008 IP