jokes

Discussion in 'Movies, Music & TV' started by healthmetre, May 25, 2008.

  1. #1
    Can we do romance in the midnight 2day?
    I'm in a gud mood:)
    Jus a little bit of kissin n biting!
    Reply me soon
    urs Loving Mosquito

    Wife:Aaj jab mai apni bra utaar ri thi tab ek ladka muje dekh raha tha.
    Husband:phr tumne kya kia?
    Wife:Maine bra se apna mooh chupa liya..!

    Wat is d relatnship betwen coffee shops & wine shops?


    Most of the love stories start at coffee shops and end at wine shops
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  2. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #2
    Love Proposal by a Software Engineer

    "Just know that the love I have for you
    Is not to be put in a stack or queue

    Like a variable in an infinite loop
    Be in my heart always and never stop

    My heart is like a port, unread,
    and the love I have has only one thread
    You are in my heart's RAM and not in the cache
    So if you won't respond, my heart will crash.

    Like an application that is stand alone,
    I'm a programmer who earns a lot on my own
    And my request is clear, without any encryption
    And hope it is not void, that you return.

    If Java can be linked with C
    Or if e-mails can be sent for free
    Why on earth can't you and me
    For the rest of our life time together be"
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  3. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #3
    ""Kissing Language (yup, it's a language)
    if a kiss is the Language of Love,
    then we have a lot to talk about it...

    methods of Love....

    +kiss on the ear--------------------"i'm horny"
    +kiss on the cheek-----------------"we're friends"
    +kiss on the hand------------------"i adore you"
    +kiss on the neck-------------------"we belong together"
    +kiss on the shoulder--------------"i want you"
    +kiss on the lips---------------------"i love you" or "i want you"
    +holding hands-----------------------"we can learn to love each other"
    +a wink---------------------------------"Let's get it on"
    +slap on the butt---------------------"thats mine"
    +playing with the ear----------------"i can't live without you"
    +holding on tight---------------------"don't let go"
    +looking into each other's eyes---"let's get romantic"
    +pulling hair on head---------------"tell me you love me"
    +arms around the waist -----------"i love you too much to let go"

    =advice=
    if you're kissing someone, close your eyes. it's not nice to stare...
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  4. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #4
    When a girl bumps into your arm
    while walking she wants
    you to hold her hand

    When she wants a hug
    she will just stand there

    When u break a girls heart,
    she still feels it when
    u run into each other 3 years later

    When a girl is quiet,
    millions of things are running through her
    mind.

    When a girl is not arguing,
    she is thinking deeply.

    When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
    questions,
    she is wondering how long you will be
    around.

    When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a
    few seconds,
    she is not at all fine.

    When a girl stares at you,
    she is wondering why you are so
    wonderful.

    When a girl lays her head on your chest,
    she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

    When a girl says that she can't live
    without you,
    she has made up her mind that you are
    her future.

    When a girl says, "I miss you, "
    no one in this world can miss you more
    than that

    When a girl is mean to you after a breakup
    she wants you back, but she's
    scared she'll get hurt and knows
    you're gone forever



    Guy Facts:

    When a guy calls you,
    he wants to be with you

    When a guy is quiet,
    He's listening to you...

    When a guy is not arguing,
    He realizes he's wrong

    When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few
    minutes,
    he means it

    When a guy stares at you,
    he wishes you would care about him and
    wonders if you do

    When you're laying your head on a guy's
    chest,
    he has the world

    When a guy calls you everyday,
    he is in love

    When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
    he means it

    When a guy says he can't live without you,
    he's with you till your done

    When a guy says, "I miss you, "
    he misses you more than you could have
    ever missed him or anything else

    repost this in 10 minutes and your true
    love will
    call you
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  5. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #5
    ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.


    TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
    conversational skills will be as important as any other.


    THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you

    want.


    FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.


    FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.


    SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.


    SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.


    EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams
    don't have much.


    NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
    only way to live life completely.


    TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.


    ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.


    TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.


    THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
    smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"


    FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve
    great
    risk.


    FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.


    SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

    SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
    others; and responsibility for all your actions.


    EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  6. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #6
    Treasure what u have...Time is too slow for those who wait;
    Too swift for those who fear; Too long for those who grief; Too short
    for those who rejoice; But for those who love...Time is Eternity.
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  7. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #7
    WHY GUYS LIK GALS??????????
    A few reasons .............:
    1.they always smell good,if it's just shampoo.
    2.the way their heads always find the right spot on yur shoulder.
    3.the ease with wich they fit into yur arms.
    4.the way they kiss u and all of sudden every thing is right in this
    world.
    5.how cute they r whn they eat.
    6.the way they take hours to dress, but in the end it's all wrothwhile.
    7.because they always warm,evenwhn it'sminus 30degrees outside.
    8.they way they look gud no matter wat they wear .
    9.the way they fish 4 compliments.
    10.how cute they r whn they argue.
    11.the way their heads always find yurs.
    12.the way they smile.
    13.the way u feel whn u see their names on the callerID after u just
    had a big fight.
    14. the way they say"let's not fight n e more," even u know an hour
    later...
    15.the way they kiss whn u do smthin nice 4 thm.
    16.the way they kiss u whn u say"i love u "
    17 actually , just the way they kiss u ...
    18.the way they fall into yur arms whn they cry.
    19.thn the way they apologize 4 cryin over something really silly
    20.the way they hit u n expect it to hurt.
    21.then the way they apologize whn it does hurt (even though u dont
    admit)
    22.the way they say,"i miss u "
    23.the way u miss thm .
    24.the way their tears make u want to change the world so that
    it doesnt hurt thm
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  8. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #8
    Last night you and your best friend had a fight.

    You decide not to talk to her the next day.

    She smiles at you.

    You grind your teeth at her.

    She tells her friends nice things about you.

    You spread bad rumors about her.

    She tries to come and talk to you.

    But you push her aside.

    She thinks you are a great friend.

    You think she is a terrible friend.

    She writes nice notes to you, telling you about the best times you
    shared
    together. You write about all the bad times you can remember
    experiencing
    together.

    Deep down you know she's sorry.

    But all you have is hate.

    The next day you find a note. It reads:

    Dear -------------,

    I tried to tell you yesterday, but you didn't let me speak,

    I tried to tell you good things,but you were afraid to hear them.

    I tried to smile at you, to take away the hate.

    But now it's time to tell you, even though it's a bit late. That i am
    dying.

    I have a bad condition and it is getting worse. I'm sorry to
    have to tell you that i won't be able to see you today. I wrote
    this to you today in the hospital.

    My time is up.

    I'm sorry i should have told you sooner.

    I'm really sorry about our argument,you are such a great friend.
    I promise i shall watch over you,

    Lots of love

    -------------

    You run to the hospital to tell her you are sorry,

    But only her mum is left.

    Her hand clasped over her face.

    And she was crying. Down on her knees she prays, for her daughter to
    come
    back.

    You are too late.

    You wish you told her sorry sooner and got to say goodbye.

    All friends have their ups and downs, and sometimes you need to say
    sorry... Don't wait for the other person to do it first.

    Because you never know what could happen
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
  9. healthmetre

    healthmetre Peon

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    #9
    A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl
    roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't
    help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was. She had long been
    suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her
    more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two
    interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his
    roommate than met the eye.
    Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be
    thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a
    week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came
    to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose
    she took it, do you?" Kumar said,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her,
    just to be sure."
    So he sat down and wrote:
    Dear Mother:
    I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm
    not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate...but the fact
    remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
    Love, Kumar
    Several days later, Kumar received an email from his
    Mother which read
    Dear Son:
    I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that
    you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was
    sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now
    under the pillow...
     
    healthmetre, May 25, 2008 IP
    sibil2 likes this.
  10. WestBoy

    WestBoy Peon

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    #10
    Haha!! Great joke cracked me up!! Brilliant way.. But I will still lie to my mother :p .. Rep Added
     
    WestBoy, May 25, 2008 IP
  11. sibil2

    sibil2 Guest

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    #11
    lol, thats hillarious, reminds me of something my mom would do! rep added.
     
    sibil2, May 25, 2008 IP
  12. digitalduke

    digitalduke Notable Member

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    #12
    lmao...Great mate :D
    Thats good one!...

    Thanks
     
    digitalduke, May 25, 2008 IP
  13. web_hunk

    web_hunk Peon

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    #13
    Thanks for sharing all the stuff. The jokes were very funny and the facts were also good! :)
     
    web_hunk, May 25, 2008 IP
  14. Forever Peon

    Forever Peon Banned

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    #14
    I like this thread. :)
     
    Forever Peon, May 25, 2008 IP
  15. mimm

    mimm Banned

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    #15
    Thanks for sharing the jokes. It seems like you do everything you can to share jokes :)
    Believe me, it is really appreciated.
     
    mimm, May 25, 2008 IP