Jokes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Mac Solutions, Jan 30, 2013.

  1. #1
    Laughing is essential, cheer up you have been working from long time now and your eyes are dry red!!! lol So read this thread to give a break from your work to relax your mind

    "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister." – Will Marsh

    "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating." – George Ryegold


    Apple=Vitamin..
    .
    Vitamins=Power. .
    .
    Power=Work..
    .
    Work=Money..
    .
    Money=Girl Friend..
    .
    Girl Friend=Tension. .
    .
    Tension=Heart Attack..
    .
    Heart Attack=Death..
    .
    Do u want apple?
    ____________________________________________________​
    I always learn from
    mistake of others who
    take my advice :D
    __________________________________________________________________________
    With just a Single kiss on the Lips for 30sec,
    she Got Pregnant..! :'(
    .
    .
    .
    . .
    Who is she?
    .
    .
    .
    . .
    Balloon.
    ________________________________________________________________________
    I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

    I said, "Nice legs."

    The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

    I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "
    ______________________________________________________________________
    When a Guy does Something Wrong!

    Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp!
    Boy : It was an Accident... I didn't
    mean to..!
    Girl : I can't believe you did this.
    Boy : I'm Sorry.. !! :(

    When a Girl does Something Wrong!

    Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
    Girl : It was an Accident. I didn't
    mean to!
    Boy : I can't believe you did this.
    Girl : I already feel bad about it..!!
    Stop making me feel Worse..!!
    Boy : I'm Sorry..!!:(

    No matter whoever does mistake; girls never say sorry!!!!
    __________________________________________________________________
    A girl sitting on a bench of a park....

    Beggar: H¡ darling !
    .
    G¡rl: (angr¡ly) how dare you callin' me as darling ???
    .
    Beggar: So', what you doing on my bed??? :p
    _________________________________________________________________
    In 2013 I’m Going To Sit Back,
    .
    .
    .
    .
    . And watch again the movie "2012" with
    popcorn
    and laugh till my stomach pains ..
    __________________________________________________________________
    Story Of Girls.....

    There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS...
    1. HARD DISK Girls: Remember everything forever.
    2. RAM Girls: Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.
    3. SCREEN SAVER Girls: Just for looking.
    4. INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access.
    5. SERVER Girls: Always busy when needed.
    6. MULTIMEDIA Girls: Makes horrible things looks beautiful.
    7. VIRUS Girls : These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE' once enters in your system don't leave even after format.
    __________________________________________________________________
    Boy's fb status:
    World is gonna end after
    15 days n still i dont
    have a GF :'(
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Girl's fb status :
    The world ends in 15
    days and i still dnt knw
    what i am going to
    wear :(((
    MORE TO COME!!!!
     
    Mac Solutions, Jan 30, 2013 IP
  2. Mac Solutions

    Mac Solutions Greenhorn

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    #2
    BEST OF FMYLIFE

    Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML



    Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan".My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML



    Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
     
    Mac Solutions, Jan 31, 2013 IP
  3. contentexpress

    contentexpress Member

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    #3
    Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ? Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day ! .. ;)
     
    contentexpress, Feb 5, 2013 IP