A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked - "Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?" Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!" The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again - "Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00? Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!" The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy - "Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much". Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says: "HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!" "It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"
My father and mother were recently celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. While cutting the cake, my mother was moved after seeing my father's eyes fill with tears. Mother took his arm, and looked at him affectionately. "I never knew you were so sentimental," she whispered. "No, no," he said, choking back his tears, "that's not it at all. Remember when your father found us in the barn and told me to either marry you or spend the next 50 years in jail?" "Yes," my mother replied. "I remember it like yesterday." "Well," said my father, "today I would have been a free man."