JOKES hit me with your best

Discussion in 'Movies, Music & TV' started by sreekanthkrishna, Mar 20, 2009.

  1. #1
    Well there is plenty of times i need a good joke to cheer me up and I'm sure others do too so here it is I have a few good ones I wanna share too.

    A blonde has just brought a brand new torch red Ferrari and is driving down the freeway and cuts off a truckie the truckie tells her to pull over and the blonde does so. the truckie gets out with a baseball bat and a piece of chalk the truckie draws and circle on the ground tells the blonde to get out stand in the circle and dont move the truckie turned back to the car and started smashing all the windows and when he was done he turned around to find the blonde laughing the truckie turned back to the car and started ripping out all the seats when he looked back to the blonde she was laughing even harder so the truckie returned to his truck and came back with some petrol he emptied the petrol into the car and set it a light when he turn back to the blonde expecting her to be crying she was rolling on the floor laughing the truckie was furious and he asked the blonde what is so dam funny i have just completely ruined ur car and ur laughing the blonde replies well every time u turn around i step outside the circle.:D
     
    sreekanthkrishna, Mar 20, 2009 IP
  2. danzig

    danzig Peon

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    #2
    LOL! good one.

    Here's a short stupid one:

    A skeleton goes into a pub and asks for a pint of beer and a mop . . .
     
    danzig, Mar 20, 2009 IP
  3. sreekanthkrishna

    sreekanthkrishna Member

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    #3
    rofl..that was good..here's another one from me again..!
    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
    The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“:D:D
     
    sreekanthkrishna, Mar 20, 2009 IP
  4. Bradders

    Bradders Member

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    #4
    A Guy gets a new tattoo saying I LOVE YOU across his penis... goes home shows his wife and she goes..

    oh great there you go again you bastard.. trying to put words in my mouth!!

    Lol :D
     
    Bradders, Mar 20, 2009 IP
  5. danzig

    danzig Peon

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    #5
    Chortle!!

    A man goes into a pet shop and says to the shop assistant "I'd like to buy a wasp please"
    "We don't sell wasps sir" the shopkeeper replies.
    The man looks puzzled for a second and then says "Well why not? there are loads of them in the window"

    (sorry)
     
    danzig, Mar 20, 2009 IP
  6. Spider Man

    Spider Man Guest

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    #6
    Lol nice one !! keep them coming!!
     
    Spider Man, Mar 20, 2009 IP
  7. bunty_cms

    bunty_cms Banned

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    #7
    Here comes mine,

    Son: Dad tell me,what is the different between first night and last night?

    Dad:There is just little different between both night.

    Son:what?

    Dad:In first night man sleep on flower bed and in last night flowers are sleep on man.
     
    bunty_cms, Mar 20, 2009 IP
  8. sreekanthkrishna

    sreekanthkrishna Member

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    #8
    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

    His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

    The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
     
    sreekanthkrishna, Mar 20, 2009 IP