A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
Good one Rohit, keep posting, ok here is one more cool joke... Fastest in the world SANTA SINGH from Punjab University and three other guys from Harvard, Yale, MIT all were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them. INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD? YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind. MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"? SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!
okay okay okay. this is my example of something funny: three girls get sent to heaven. a brunette, red head, and blonde. god is waiting for them at heavens gates. he says "ill tell you 100 jokes. if any of you laugh at any youll be sent to hell" so at the 25th joke the red head laughs and gets sent to hell. at the 85th joke the brunette laughs and gets sent to hell. at the 99th joke the blonde laughs. god says: "why'd you laugh you were so close?!" and she says: "i just got the first joke!"
9 Types of Girlfriends Ms. Nice Guy - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh, darling, you shouldn't have!" Also known as: Whattagal, Precious, one of the boys, My Main Squeeze, Doormat Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly Disadvantages: May wise up someday Old Yeller - "You spineless good-for-nothing drag-arse no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell Advantages: Pays attention to you Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite." Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy Advantages: Predictable Disadvantages: Contagious The Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, Yes Mom Advantages: Often right Disadvantages: Often right, but so what? Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?" Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw C'mon Honey Advantages: Easily soothed Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed Wild Woman out of Control - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun." Also known as: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Goodtime Charleena, Passed Out Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at." Also known as: No Fun, Humorless Prig, Cold fish, Chilly Proposition, Iceberg, Snarly Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you Disadvantages: You will have no friends Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship." Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now!" Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous Advantages: Funny, intelligent, uninhibited Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you.