Is this some good copy for my Donation page?

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by DanielKemp, Nov 12, 2008.

  1. #1
    Hi. I wanted to get some better copy for my donation page. I made $21 off of it in a month which is cool, but I want to make loads more.

    My current Donate copy page says:

    I decided to try something different and hope that this brings in loads more donations. Here is what I wrote:

    Is it good copy that would make you donate? Anything needs to be changed or anything I need to add to it so that it will get me more donations?
     
    DanielKemp, Nov 12, 2008 IP
  2. kpaul

    kpaul Peon

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    #2
    It made me smile. As to whether or not I'd donate, probably not. That's just me. Heh. It could be something that goes viral, though.

    I guess the next step would be to try it on your site and track how much donations improve compared to your overall traffic.

    Best of luck.
     
    kpaul, Nov 12, 2008 IP
  3. jehnidiah

    jehnidiah Active Member

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    #3
    I certainly wouldn't donate, but it's good copy.
     
    jehnidiah, Nov 12, 2008 IP
  4. QualityContentCreation

    QualityContentCreation Peon

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    #4
    I think that it might be clever to include something additional as an incentive, even if it's just playing along. Perhaps you could say that donors will receive leadership positions whenever you become emperor or something like that.

    I still don't think I'd actually donate, but like kpaul said, I think that it could possibly go viral - in which case you'd have the chance to ring in a decent amount of cash.
     
    QualityContentCreation, Nov 12, 2008 IP
  5. DanielKemp

    DanielKemp Peon

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    #5
    OK. What about this:

    $1-$9 - You get an actual personal e-mail from me thanking you for the donation.
    $10-$24 - You get your very own original photo of me.
    $25-$49 - You get your very own original photo of me with writing that thanks you for the donation.
    $50-$99 - You get your very own original photo of me with writing that thanks you for the donation AND your web site URL on the sign (if you have one and it's not a porn web site or something sick/dumb).
    $100+ - You get a video of me thanking you for the donation and I can say your URL on the video if you have one and it's not porn or something sick/dumb.

    How is that? Would that make you donate? Anything I should add/remove?
     
    DanielKemp, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  6. DanielKemp

    DanielKemp Peon

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    #6
    DanielKemp, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  7. reviewer

    reviewer Peon

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    #7
    Daniel,

    A few notes for you from the grammar nazi in me!

    "I like three things a lot; money, power & ladies." This should have a colon instead of a semicolon (as it precedes a list).

    Add a comma here: "To be Earth Emperor(,) money is very important..."

    Also, you use the verbiage "to be Earth Emperor" as well as "to be an Earth Emperor". I'd pick one.

    Cheers!
     
    reviewer, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  8. DanielKemp

    DanielKemp Peon

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    #8
    No man that's wicked. I want to be taken serious and fixing stuff like that helps do that.

    Thank you very much reviewer.
     
    DanielKemp, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  9. g_bot

    g_bot Well-Known Member

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    #9
    It would be great to meet a nerd like you! (take that as a compliment brother) Where under blue heaven you live in Ontario?
     
    g_bot, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  10. DanielKemp

    DanielKemp Peon

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    #10
    I am not a nerd. I don't play World of Warcraft.

    I live in London Ontario Canada. Just search Google with "London Ontario Canada", click "Maps" at the top, and then you will see where it is.
     
    DanielKemp, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  11. g_bot

    g_bot Well-Known Member

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    #11
    lol i am in ontario! was asking your locality so that i can ever get to meet person like you! anyways you just lost $5 from a cheap lady
     
    g_bot, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  12. DanielKemp

    DanielKemp Peon

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    #12
    I'm not having sex with you for $5.
     
    DanielKemp, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  13. g_bot

    g_bot Well-Known Member

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    #13
    WTF! it was about me donating you! and then changing ma mind cuz of your rude replies... good luck with your donation campaign dr. robot!
     
    g_bot, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  14. jehnidiah

    jehnidiah Active Member

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    #14
    lmao, you're such an idiot, this chick is obviously hitting on you and you're being a prick. I understand it's part of your "web persona" as the Earth Emperor, but the smart decision would've been to take it to PM and chat it up with the lady!
     
    jehnidiah, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  15. DanielKemp

    DanielKemp Peon

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    #15
    Oh OK.

    I get confused cause I dont know if someone is being serious or not on forums. Like on another forum with the letters WF the guys there will sound serious, but then later you figure out that they were just making fun.

    I am sorry if I offended you g_bot.
     
    DanielKemp, Nov 13, 2008 IP
  16. DanielKemp

    DanielKemp Peon

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    #16
    I got to learn to get better talking with ladies. I might pay the money to see Quantum of Solace in the movie theaters and learn why ladies like this new James Bond a lot. Ladies on my ICQ and MSN just say it is his confidence, but what the heck is that?
     
    DanielKemp, Nov 13, 2008 IP