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Is this sales page ready to go live (I'm scared....)

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by bertuseng, Jan 17, 2010.

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  1. CDarklock

    CDarklock Peon

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    #21
    Yep. Because I know Bertus, and he's an honest guy. If he says he wants a critique, that's what he wants.

    But let's imagine I don't know Bertus. Do you know how I can tell he honestly wants a critique?

    Because the jackholes who post their crap PLR sales page looking for a critique do a much worse job on the copy, so they get eviscerated by the copywriters who look at it, and then they try to ARGUE with those copywriters about it. They do this because they are stupid, which is why they thought asking for a copywriting critique would get them traffic and sales in the first place.

    Because that's a STUPID idea, and anyone who thinks it would work is STUPID.
     
    CDarklock, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  2. averyz

    averyz Well-Known Member

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    #22
    If the OP really wanted a review I am sorry for my skepticism. The "Free traffic" makes me a little suspicious.

    To be honest I stop reading when I get to huge multi colored font it is like trying to make a paragraph out of 3 road signs and 5 billboards.

    And the page is way to long… might be better if you broke it up into a few pages.
     
    averyz, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  3. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #23
    I disagree partially. I've made lots of money with sites using free templates.

    As far as I can see, the big red font is only used in the headline and sparingly elsewhere. The headline is supposed to stand out from the rest of the text and I think the big red font does that particular job reasonably well. The headline is not a very good one, but that's another matter.
     
    lightless, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  4. bertuseng

    bertuseng Peon

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    #24
    Haha, thanks.

    Am also really interested to know how a sales page or a thread? like this could be spam? I was just asking an honest opinion on my new sales page. It IS a sales page, I am not trying to hide that fact it is.

    I also didn't mean that I am broke, I am just doing this first project of mine totally on my own, and I definately don't have 30k to spend on a sales page for my first sales page.

    Thanks for all the constructive comments everyone, I think I will just launch it as it is and split test it and improve from there.
     
    bertuseng, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  5. CDarklock

    CDarklock Peon

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    #25
    Yeah, tell me about it. Everybody gets so up in arms about originality. Every single sales page I've ever written stars out just like this:

    <!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN" 
	"http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/loose.dtd">
<html>
	<head>
		<title>
			My Sales Page
		</title>
		<style type="text/css">
			body {
				text-align: center;
			}
			
			body>div {
				width: 540px;
				text-align: left;
				margin-left: auto;
				margin-right: auto;
				border: 2px solid #000000;
			}
		</style>
		<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" 
			content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" />
	</head>
	<body>
		<div>
			This is my sales page
		</div>
	</body>
</html>
    HTML:
    Now, honestly, do you give a damn whether I type that out every time or have it saved on my hard drive? It's the same thing either way. Style the body with text-align center; style the body>div with text-align left, auto margins, and a border; build your sales page in the middle. Done.

    Sales copy is not about design. It's about persuasion. Radical art nouveau sales pages don't sell squat.
     
    CDarklock, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  6. averyz

    averyz Well-Known Member

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    #26
    Oh yeah, I love free templates use them all the time (not like the one in the OP :-/). I meant that it take more then just pasting a sales page on the web and dropping some links in forums.

    It takes marketing, seo, design, planning, ect – many upon many hours and hours of work..
    A lot of ebooks make it seem like you can buy some "secret" apply it and rake in the dough. False..
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2010
    averyz, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  7. CDarklock

    CDarklock Peon

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    #27
    Perhaps you should pay attention to whether that's all someone is doing.

    Bertus has worked his arse off on this launch, and I've found it pretty inspiring. Accusing him of doing a paste-job campaign is not just offensive, it's ignorant.
     
    CDarklock, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  8. Perry Rose

    Perry Rose Peon

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    #28
    Better picture. :D

    These :cool: rarely work.

    Experiment with this design. Later on, when you see for yourself, you will have to revamp it.

    A good sales page does not shout with cheap-looking colors, and whatnot.

    A good sales page does not have stuff like..."today only $47."

    Yes, you will get bites on that, but they will be far and inbetween.

    That is not a definition of "success."

    That is, if you want more than that.

    The cheap-looking guaranteed section needs to go also.

    And, all due respect to, averyz, no, that page does not look like a spammer owns it. It just looks like shit that will not convert that much.

    If you are looking for just a few sales here and there, then you are good to go.

    If you want to do this as a partial living, whch you can, then it needs to be revamped, including taking out the BS. Like, "sold out," and other things in there.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2010
    Perry Rose, Jan 19, 2010 IP
    CDarklock likes this.
  9. averyz

    averyz Well-Known Member

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    #29
    I an paying "attention to whether that's all someone is doing"

    EXACT SAME POST in 2 different forums COPY PASTE and another "review" link in another forum.

    http://www.warriorforum.com/copywriting-forum/167596-sales-copy-ready-go-live-im-scared.html

    http://www.betternetworker.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=19&p=73906

    and here… http://forums.digitalpoint.com/showthread.php?t=1656459&page=2#post13406135

    For those of you who still have no clue it is called dropping links or spam.

    If this "inspires" you I don't know what to say.
     
    averyz, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  10. bluemouse2

    bluemouse2 Well-Known Member

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    #30
    In my opinion all these sale pages should change.... when I see a long page with endless phrases I usually close it... I don't know who created this standard for sale pages but it is really annoying.. to me at least.
     
    bluemouse2, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  11. Dycan

    Dycan Peon

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    #31
    Why not? It looks like any other sales page I could imagine. I personally hate those types of sales pages but in the internet marketing niche they often convert the best. So I've heard.

    BTW, videos increase your opt in rate :)
     
    Dycan, Jan 19, 2010 IP
  12. locals

    locals Well-Known Member

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    #32
    from your post i can tell you have not been working and making money on the internet for more then 3 years... you are SCREAMING NEWB at the top of your lungs right now and dont even know it... first of all they teach you to leave normal url links mixed with anchored links to make it look "normal" EVERY single back link you get ESPECIALLY from customers will not be anchored... do you think your customer knows or cares how to code LOL

    and a spider doesnt know the difference.

    also you wrote :

    "He also probably wasn't expecting any sales just by making a thread in this forum"

    have you ever posted an ad on a website like DigitalPoint or Craigslist and seen how much traffic you get... now lets say this guys website was on something off the wall such as BABY FORMULA then people from a WEBMASTER FORUM WOULD NOT THINK HE IS TRYING TO MILK TRAFFIC
     
    locals, Jan 21, 2010 IP
  13. SeBrantigan

    SeBrantigan Peon

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    #33
    Did you know that trolling/abusing forum members is against the rules? Agreed, I have only been on the Internet for a year. And you seem to know how this "forum scam SEO" thing works, so why don't you try it instead of insulting others?
     
    SeBrantigan, Jan 21, 2010 IP
  14. PJM1

    PJM1 Peon

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    #34
    And bad Spam at that ... Just Google his name and you'll see he is a very busy Internet Marketing Expert . Why would an Expert need help with a little copy and a web template?

    Gosh I guess he needs lots of help, cause he is asking for it elsewhere too - http://www.betternetworker.com/forums/post73906.html

    Please Critique my first sales page draft... :)
    by Bertus Engelbrecht on Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:22 pm

    I have decided to embark on a very challenging journey and that is my first sales page for my first product. I don't have enough money to invest in a good copywriter at the moment and decided I want to do my first product all on my own, included the copy, but unfortunately I am very inexperienced in the copywriting field and beg you to put all your experienced heads together to help me to improve my sales page. I have already received invaluable advice and hope I can get some more today.

    Frankly, I don't have much of a clue of how good this is, but I know it needs lots of improvement. I know a 100 heads are better than one so here is my sales page:

    http://freetrafficvolcano.com/index.php?p=1_6

    Please critique it for me, especially the general structure, the headings and the header. Thanks a lot for all the help, you guys (and girls) really are the best!


    We're just all the best Bertie baby ....:rolleyes:
     
    PJM1, Jan 21, 2010 IP
  15. locals

    locals Well-Known Member

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    #35
    i dont think you read what i wrote... what he is doing you can do for good or bad. for example you do it on craigs list GREAT FOR YOU... you have used a website with MASS traffic and generated a small amount of your own... however what this spammer is doing is deceiving newbs into purchasing CRAP... never read his sales content... why ? because every website like that you come across is trying to sell you crap that they found somewhere else for free

    so there is nothing wrong with taking traffic from sites that have traffic, thats how you get traffic. but when you deceive people it all comes out like in this post
     
    locals, Jan 22, 2010 IP
  16. etc

    etc Well-Known Member

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    #36
    sales page is not bad.
    i actually fall for this pages when i haven't understand about it seo and the tricks, i then immediately wanted to buy a product.

    but its not a bad sales page. so you don't need to spam it here .
     
    etc, Jan 22, 2010 IP
  17. extraspecial

    extraspecial Member

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    #37
    well if I compare it with other Clickbank product websites its very bad... but you can get a better design for around $50... I think its still ok to launch :) Maybe you can also redesign the website after a couple of sales :)

    Wanna see something really cool :

    http://www.bestbloggingsystem.com/
     
    extraspecial, Jan 22, 2010 IP
  18. Perry Rose

    Perry Rose Peon

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    #38
    Now THAT'S a sales page!

    Nice.
     
    Perry Rose, Jan 22, 2010 IP
  19. segzeey

    segzeey Active Member

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    #39
    Try and continue improving the sales page, it still need to be more convincing.
     
    segzeey, Jan 22, 2010 IP
  20. bertuseng

    bertuseng Peon

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    #40
    anyone know where I can redo the page's graphics for cheap?
     
    bertuseng, Feb 11, 2010 IP
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