is this proper English?

not sure if this is appropriate for this forum for this - please let me know if not, and accept my apology.

Is this a well-formed sentence:

"We do not feel that their value is significant in helping you achieve your link building campaign goals, and thus, do not offer support for these links in the Beta Release."

 

Makes sense to me.

 

Me too ^^;;

 

Hope it is a well - formed sentence hence making a sense.

 

The sentence is grammatically correct, and there's nothing wrong with it as far as proper English rules, however I don't believe it puts across the message you are striving for.

It sounds like you are trying to answer a client's question, or perhaps this is part of an FAQ regarding your product. What you are communicating is that your product doesn't support a type of hyperlink which a client wishes to use, and you are basing the reason you don't support this type of hyperlink on your belief of what works and what doesn't.

This is rarely a good idea. Your belief may or may not be correct, but that hardly matters.

The tone can be construed as adversarial, or hint at the idea that if your company decides it doesn't believe something, the client will not get support for it. Not good sales copy, or client relations.

I would take that part out, and simply state that in the current version, these types of links are not supported. Leave the statement open ended.

Communication is what is heard, not what is said.

Glenn Hefley

 

I agree that the sentence needs to be reworked.

 

Yes, nothing wrong with the sentence, but it might come across as "to proffesional" so to speak.

 

I think I disagree on the sentence. It is a run on sentence that should be made into more than one sentence. I am not trying to be mean or a jerk, but you asked.

 

Looks good to me too

 

look there is nothing wrong with it your trying to make your own message

 

it makes sense. It could be rearranged, though. For example, it could be divided in two. Depends how you want to convey the meaning.

 

That's horrible. So far as I am concerned any sentence that needs to
be read more than once to understand is not working as a sentence
regardless of whether it conforms to the rules.

I don't know what 'their' is referring to. 'We do not feel that...' why 'feel'?
Why does it refer to a feeling rather than a mental process such as 'belief'?
'We do not believe' would make more sense. And 'link building campaign goals'
is a ghastly noun phrase; I'd shorten it.

Furthermore it is far too long and requires either a semi colon or else it
should be broken into two.

So:

"We do not BELIEVE that their value is significant in helping you achieve your (link building campaign) goals; therefore, we do not offer support for these links in the Beta Release."

Or:

"We do not BELIEVE that their value is significant in helping you achieve your (link building campaign) goals. Consequently, we do not offer support for these links in the Beta Release."

If you tell me what 'their' refers to I could hone it further. I put part of the
noun phrase in brackets to indicate that I don't think that part of it is
necessary; it might be better just to refer to 'goals'.

Phil

 

Maybe send an email to the guys and gals at the Plain English Campaign. That's what they are there for (I think

Personally I'd go for something like.
As we feel that ?? adds little value to a link building campaign, it is not supported (we do not support it) in the beta release.

 

Wow, this was an old dead thread. You must be a skilled necromancer to have pulled this off.

 

Official English, as in British English rarely uses commas, the use of a comma only comes in place if the comma must be placed or else it would become a weird sentence. American English on the other hand uses a lot of commas in a sentence.

And yes, it's a pretty old thread.

 

This is beginning to sound like a linguistics lecture.