Is This Copy To Long

http://www.realtytocell.com/ if you were a homeseller would you find this copy interesting enough to read it all and does the site look professional?

 

I find the font doesn't make me want to read the text, but it's not too long.

 

what would you suggest make font bigger or change it??

 

Definitely not too long. I agree about the font though, but I think instead of changing the font size you may have a clearer sales page if you rearrange some things. Here are some thoughts:

1-Make your headline much bigger and with red letters so its obvious where your eyes must go
2-Keep all your text in a table like 500 or so px wide, have it centered
3-Get rid of the other links on the page to increase conversions
4-Lose the picture of the yard sign or move it so that it's right justified. You want text to be on the left so you don't break the readers' habits as they're moving down the page.

That should make it nice and neat. I didn't actually read the copy by the way

 

There are some shortcomings (Lack of temptation!!)

 

@ khaledt1 . What is it you mean by temptation can you explain or give example of the use?? I am not getting a picture in my mind as to what you are telling me.

 

Perhaps some more formatting (eg. red text)?

 

I think it's important to point out that there's no copy that is too long, there's only copy that is too boring.

As for your landing page, I think you should format it to make the point of that page clearer and you can do that by using

1. Larger headline
2. Bigger register button

That's my 2 cents.

 

Formatting is an issue for sure.

By lack of temptation, we're missing a headline that hammers the benefit home.

capture potential buyers actively seeking information on real estate offerings, in your area

This needs to be more benefit oriented. Something like:

Headline: Don't miss another sale. Serve potential buyers the information they crave right away and reap the monetary rewards.

Copy: How many sales do you think are lost because buyers move onto the next property and get sold on that before you've had a chance to present your listing? With click2sell, you put the amenities and details they crave right in front of their faces immediately. They don't have to write it down, take it home and log into a computer. And you have the advantage of getting to them first.

Anyway, that is the thought behind it. You need to speak to those agents who will use the service and translate the benefits to what they get. Neon sign you will get more $$ because you present it better. And does it cost less than print advertising? Is there some advantage here, too?

This is the idea.

 

I think the writing isn't bad. There are some typos. I'm in the fourth paragraph before I realize that you offer a service that sends photos and listing data to the cell phones of customers. I'd like to see the offer described sooner. The text in the sign at the top was too hard to read, so I didn't.

The text is not necessarily too long, but you may be waiting too late to go for the close. Give agents a chance to take action earlier.

Reading all the way across the screen is hard on the eyes. Narrow the column containing your body text to 400 pixels or so.

This is a brilliant service. Are you looking in to postcard mailings to the owners of real estate agencies?

 

hmmm, I see where you are going with that. TEMPTATION not an angle I have given much thought to but,you can bet the wheels in my mind are turning right now from just what I read. Must say thanks, thats the ingredient that sliped my mind.

 

Brazzell, yes postcards to agents is how I plan to invite them to the site, and is the next phase I plan to take on. So any info about your service is welcome.