Is Major Google Update Coming

Discussion in 'Google' started by Las Vegas Homes, Nov 4, 2004.

  1. Weirfire

    Weirfire Language Translation Company

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    #21
    It's just interesting to see the change in stats and see if that improved position in the SERPS was due to more links or web page optimization. Why do people sit and listen to the Music charts? Because it's interesting. They want to know who's number 1 etc. :)
     
    Weirfire, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  2. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

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    #22
    But surely for clients what makes a greater difference is visitors to their sites... maybe providing them with the output of a decent stats program and tracking those vistors over time in a graph or spreadsheet they can scotch-tape to the fridge would be more useful...
     
    minstrel, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  3. dazzlindonna

    dazzlindonna Peon

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    #23
    True, but the visitors certainly are not coming from Google. And that's all they want to see from me. I've gotten them plenty of visitors in other ways, and they are happy about that, but still, they ask several times a week about Google. There's only so much educating of people you can do. If they want something, they want it. Trying to give them something they want.
     
    dazzlindonna, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  4. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

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    #24
    Ah, that's where the Monty Python Fish-Slapping Dance comes in handy:

    "I am going to tell you this just one [slap with a cod] last [slap with a herring] time [slap with a haddock]: The [slap with a back of cockles and mussels alive alive oh] only [slap with a wet bag of periwinkles] thing that matters [slap with a dead eel] is visitors [slap with a bag of frogs] who [slap with a fisherman's wellie] buy stuff!"

    It's called "educating the customer".

    To be fair, in some jurisdictions it's called aggravated assault with a weapon, so be careful not to overuse the technique.
     
    minstrel, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  5. dazzlindonna

    dazzlindonna Peon

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    #25
    This poor guy has been slapped with every known animal, vegetable and mineral I can find in my neck of the woods, but he doesn't care. He wants what he wants. So I'll give him whatever I can in that regard.

    Added: oh, and I've tripled his money (substantial gains) in the last few months, so he's not complaining about that.
     
    dazzlindonna, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  6. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

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    #26
    I sympathize, dazzlindonna... you have what my profession would call a "treatment resistant client".

    As a last ditch effort, you might try the "double Monty Python whammy" -- yes, it's pretty severe, very brutal, and difficult to watch, but when all else fails sometimes it works:

    Slap him with a live eel in one hand (electric if you can get it) and a dead parrot in the other, one on each cheek.

    If that doesn't work, start faking Google results -- he probably won't know the difference any way.
     
    minstrel, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  7. debunked

    debunked Prominent Member

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    #27
    This has been your best post ever!

    You must be in a good mood.
     
    debunked, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  8. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

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    #28
    :D Why thank you, Debunked...

    1. it's Friday
    2. I have a date
    3. with my favorite member of the opposite gender
    4. at my favorite pub

    so, yes... I'm happy :D :D :D
     
    minstrel, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  9. longcall911

    longcall911 Peon

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    #29
    link:www.mydomain.com on two sites. (News & Web)
     
    longcall911, Nov 5, 2004 IP
  10. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    #30
    I think y'all start these "major update" threads just to tease me! ;)


    Cricket
     
    Cricket, Nov 6, 2004 IP
  11. Weirfire

    Weirfire Language Translation Company

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    #31

    Well played Minstrel. Hope the date goes well. :) Well that's unless the favourite member of the opposite gender is your mother then I just hope you have a nice night. :cool:
     
    Weirfire, Nov 6, 2004 IP