Iraq is open for Tourists

Iraq plans hotel and theme parks for a tourism boom

I particularly liked this part at the end

 

Make sure to say goodbye to everyone before your return to Iraq to spend your dream holiday.

 

They fail to mention talking with an Iraqi accent and getting a fake tan!

There's no way I could go, what with my ginger hair and all.

 

Welcome to Sing Sing Maximum Security Prison Bureau of Tourism.

Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

Before proceeding to the yard and mingling with the general population, may we suggest a few stops along the way:

Cell 50647B where Richard will dye your hair
Cell 79874D where Chicken Choker will give you a "massage" to better prepare your entry access portals
Cell 77875A where Lenny Lifer will decorate you with a few tattoos.

Remember, it is important to blend in for your safety, but if you survive, it will be a trip you'll never forget. Obversly, it could be the experience of a lifetime ... the last one.

Touring Iraq - did that once in full MOPP gear with heavy equipment and weapons - don't see how this time around would be any different; but thanks for the offer

 

I heard the Germans have already reserved all the beach chairs anyway

 

'Course you could, you'd only end up being shot or kidnapped the second you stepped foot into the country

You'd have to plead with your captors and try and convince them you're here for the wonderful Basra Hotel and not for its mighty fine women

Say O'Allah a few times and they'll let you off quicker (or behead you quicker so you dont feel the pain as much)

 

What is the Iraqi Dress Code??

 

Shalwar Kameez, why do you ask? Planning a trip down?

Now imagine Weiry in one of those, would make a change from his Kilt thats for sure

 

Do they have good beer?

 

That reminds me of the joke going around during the first war

 

Now, there is an intelligent question that could make a world of difference! But no, they don't; however, they may have some interesting things to smoke ... ?

 

That is... an acceptable answer.

 

They only have nuclear bombs and oil. No beer left now.

 

I guess there won't be any visitors to the Caribbean this season.

 

Neither to the Caribbean nor to the beautiful Maldives Islands