I put my best efforts in my sales page. Need your suggestions for further improvement

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by jeesteve, Sep 14, 2010.

  1. #1
    Hi..

    I have developed new sales page for my flirting product. I didn't get conversions in my sales page yet. If you have a look and give your suggestions for improvement it would help me a lot. Please log onto www.magicalflirting.com

    Thanks in advance.
     
    jeesteve, Sep 14, 2010 IP
  2. getrightwords

    getrightwords Peon

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    #2
    I viewed the Sales Page and it overall looks "Good". You can use more catchy words. Btw, did you market the link well??
     
    getrightwords, Sep 14, 2010 IP
  3. iamobsessive

    iamobsessive Active Member

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    #3
    You should improve the look and feel and also, you should "Make your words sell" (PS: Read this ebook, it's free and very very good).
     
    iamobsessive, Sep 14, 2010 IP
  4. jeesteve

    jeesteve Active Member

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    #4
    I wrote around 10 articles and submitted in ezine. I pinged the website. Could you please provide marketing tips?
     
    jeesteve, Sep 14, 2010 IP
  5. jeesteve

    jeesteve Active Member

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    #5
    Could you pls more specific? In which areas I ve to improve look and words?
     
    jeesteve, Sep 14, 2010 IP
  6. emmataylors

    emmataylors Peon

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    #6
    Hi just wanted to put my two cents in. For me the copy seems to be a bit short. The saying goes "Good sales copy should be as long as they should be..." Maybe add a little bit more meat into the story...With headers like "They laughed at me..." and so on and how you could eventually win over your friend richard in the next party..."As again it's not about the competition...but winning feels good." Also, statistically it's been proven that numbers like $37 or $39 is a compelling price for customers to buy, hence the overstuffin of products at that price. I believe $44 stands out from the rest, but not quite sure whether it's a good thing. Do try to experiment with that.
     
    emmataylors, Sep 14, 2010 IP
  7. jeesteve

    jeesteve Active Member

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    #7
    Thanks emma for your sugggestion.
     
    jeesteve, Sep 14, 2010 IP
  8. fredspeech

    fredspeech Peon

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    #8
    May your sales will not increased just because of your website structure, content quality, etc.. so its better for you that consult it with any seo firm they will give you the better solutions.
     
    fredspeech, Sep 21, 2010 IP
  9. Psalm49

    Psalm49 Peon

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    #9
    Well I'm not too crazy about the first stock photo of the woman in the suit... is that the best you could find?
     
    Psalm49, Sep 21, 2010 IP
  10. Perry Rose

    Perry Rose Peon

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    #10
    Yeah, I was wondering that one myself. A woman in a suit???

    The pictures need to get your potential buyers fantasising.

    That guy with his chin in his hand really needs to go.

    Put in pictures of cute, next-door type girls that your visitors can imagine being with.

    Example: http://www.hotornot.com/m/r/?emid=BMNUAYH

    Don't put in pictures of beautiful big-breasted women!

    Don't use the typical lame words like "hot," and "babes."

    Make your site real and believable.

    Put in a free tip on "how to meet a girl like this" next to each picture.
     
    Perry Rose, Sep 21, 2010 IP
  11. jeesteve

    jeesteve Active Member

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    #11
    Hi all..

    Thanks all for your reply. I have updated my sales page. please give your suggestion on the updated page.
     
    jeesteve, Oct 6, 2010 IP
  12. anuragwebworld

    anuragwebworld Guest

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    #12
    It looks good...I just had a look at it.
     
    anuragwebworld, Oct 7, 2010 IP
  13. jeesteve

    jeesteve Active Member

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    #13
    Thanks for your comment.
     
    jeesteve, Oct 7, 2010 IP
  14. parsibagan

    parsibagan Active Member

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    #14
    Not sure, but `You Can' does not sound so affirmative. Why not put it as:

    Approach...
    Capture...
    Change..... <bang>

    Also un-capitalize the capitalized text in the first two lines. This will enhance the capitalized words in the third line.
     
    parsibagan, Oct 7, 2010 IP