I have a good product but very bad sales letter , what I need to do?

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by seoeduardo74, Nov 1, 2011.

  1. #1
    First my English is a little bad so this is my problem for make a good sales letter, but I know I can find good help in this forum.

    Please check my sales letter for my two products, please I know is ugly so I need your help.

    http://blackhatware.com/autotrafficmachine.html

    http://blackhatware.com/googleplusdomination.html
     
    seoeduardo74, Nov 1, 2011 IP
  2. seoeduardo74

    seoeduardo74 Peon

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    #2
    If you want to give any idea in this thread is okay for me.
     
    seoeduardo74, Nov 1, 2011 IP
  3. contentboss

    contentboss Peon

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    #3
    It looks a little... 'amateur'. The images and wild use of fonts doesn't scream 'quality'.

    Also, I think the offering is toooo big. It's daunting, in fact. People just want a button to press, not a list of 90 bits of software they will have to install and learn how to use.

    The only '1 click' thing you mention is also totally unbelievable - apart from contentBoss, there's nothing on the market that can turn an existing article into a new one with just one click. At least while keeping it readable and able to pass google. I'm happy to be disabused of this belief, of course, if you can supply any proof.
     
    contentboss, Nov 1, 2011 IP
  4. ozrocks22

    ozrocks22 Member

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    #4
    Yikes! I'd pay someone to redo it. Sites like that are worthless & you won't make any money. Spend a little money to make yourself look like a professional.
     
    ozrocks22, Nov 1, 2011 IP
  5. newbieleoling

    newbieleoling Member

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    #5
    how much you paid for the job?
     
    newbieleoling, Nov 1, 2011 IP
  6. SEO Content Demon

    SEO Content Demon Well-Known Member

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    #6
    Hi,
    I have analyzed your landing page and figured out some points...

    1. Where you have given....Earn over $1000 per day using Auto Traffic Machine Pro Suite!

    In fact, it should be a quote line (review) from any of your customers.

    2. And the name of your product along with Image just below it.

    3. The headlines you have given for each section like Auto Traffic Machine, Crazy Blog Commenter etc...

    Actually here you should give the effects despite the what it does.. It will appeal the visitors more... I think

    4. There is lack of tag lines and promotional lines in your landing page. In fact, I couldn't find any of such appealing sentence there.

    5. The presentation and space of Customer Reviews is not right.

    These are just some of the problems I could figured out at first sight there. If you need to redo your sales landing page then PM me... I am a copywriter and can provide you with appealing sales landing page content (Only content along with guidance about landing page design).

    Thanks
     
    SEO Content Demon, Nov 3, 2011 IP
  7. Bizzoyce

    Bizzoyce Active Member

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    #7
    If its in your budget I would pay to have someone redo it, It's not terrible but you are trying to sell something and you want people to buy it. That means you need it to look professionally done. Just my input
     
    Bizzoyce, Nov 3, 2011 IP
  8. omarabid

    omarabid Well-Known Member

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    #8
    It's not that your copy is bad, it's that people no longer believe in Bullshit.
     
    omarabid, Nov 4, 2011 IP
  9. seoeduardo74

    seoeduardo74 Peon

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    #9
    For your information I already sold more than 1000 copies of this software.
     
    seoeduardo74, Nov 8, 2011 IP
  10. sweetcrabhoney18

    sweetcrabhoney18 Banned

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    #10
    Then why are you asking for sales letter writing advice? If the copy is selling that many copies, you don't need our two cents to help you.

    Anyway, there are three books on amazon that talk about how to write a sales letter. They each are under $5 and can save you some stress.

    If you want a better sales letter than try those books. If you already sold more than 1000 copies then you don't need a new sales letter. Good luck either way.
     
    sweetcrabhoney18, Nov 10, 2011 IP
  11. BoCe

    BoCe Peon

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    #11
    It is awkward. If you can sell those number of softwares, you must have a good sales letter dont you?

    Just in case your sales writing is too bad, you can experience english more by learning and seeing the marketing letters you can find on google. Those work for me.
     
    BoCe, Nov 10, 2011 IP
  12. jewel3000

    jewel3000 Peon

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    #12
    I think your products look interesting, you just need sales copy help.

    Since you say English isn't your native language, you must hire a native English writer to handle the improvements for you.

    No one here can teach you what to do. You can't learn to become a professional writer by picking up a couple of tips in a forum.

    Hire good help, and you'll be in great shape!
     
    jewel3000, Nov 12, 2011 IP
  13. Sam Gilmore

    Sam Gilmore Peon

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    #13
    You may ask some native speaker to proofread your letter
     
    Sam Gilmore, Mar 27, 2012 IP
  14. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Acclaimed Member

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    #14
    Verily,verily I sayest unto thee. Get thee to a copywriter hence and forthwith. Do so with great haste! Lest said product falleth by the wayside.
     
    Spoiltdiva, Mar 27, 2012 IP
  15. SimonHaestoe

    SimonHaestoe Peon

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    #15
    Haha, blackhatware. Anyway... You need to start talking to your prospects. You do this, by putting yourself in their situation. If you were in that situation,how would you feel about having that problem solved..? For you, it might be becoming free of monetary worries. Speak, in your sales letter, as if the person - with the monetary problems - was in front of you. In that situation, if the person shared his problems and looked desperate, you wouldn't go ahead and manipulate him into buying.
     
    SimonHaestoe, Apr 2, 2012 IP
  16. Griffin Smith

    Griffin Smith Peon

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    #16
    Hmmmm. Maybe break up the paragraphs a little, they are too thick and hard to read.

    The testimonials need some work.

    Several spelling and grammar errors.

    Maybe add a video and show screenshots of YOUR paypal account proving that you made 1,000 a day

    That would be a good start. And if you sold a 1,000 copies like you say, just imagine how many MORE you could sell with better copy!
     
    Griffin Smith, Apr 2, 2012 IP
  17. sonny_king

    sonny_king Member

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    #17
    First (and this is my opinion)...do you really want the representation of your site (presumably the thing that makes you money) have a domain called
    "blackhatware.com"?

    Second the copy has a "look" of unprofessional right off the bat. I literally went to the site and the first 2 seconds I could see that this was instantly not
    worth my time reading. That would most likely be the response of most of your customers.

    First thing you do is find out "who" your customers are. Figure out in that sales page are you really talking to them and answering their needs for them to buy this product. Second do some hardcore research on salespages that are killing right now. You may not have enough money to get yourself a video sales page, but find the long tail pages and just take not of them and how they are using persuasion in their copy.

    Most of all...You need to correct the overall image of that page. Looking amateurish = no money for you!
     
    sonny_king, Apr 3, 2012 IP
  18. ziyaludo

    ziyaludo Peon

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    #18
    outsource it, pay some one at odesk to make decent salescopy
     
    ziyaludo, Apr 3, 2012 IP
  19. SimonHaestoe

    SimonHaestoe Peon

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    #19
    "Second do some hardcore research on salespages that are killing right now."<----I don't believe that's the right way if you learn things; what should be done is, learn the timeless principles.

    About the page's look: same thing there... why cater to people's ADD-based desires of flashy stuff? If someone speaks from the heart, you will be drawn in no matter how the stuff looks; and you'll completely forget about the look; it will be outframed.
     
    SimonHaestoe, Apr 7, 2012 IP
  20. vip123

    vip123 Greenhorn

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    #20
    if you have the money outsource or learn how you can develop better sales pages by studying winning sales pages and use them as a guide and also study the principles that make a great sales page.
     
    vip123, May 16, 2012 IP