When I first moved to Dallas in '95, I moved in with my Uncle and his wife. I love my Uncle Tracy. He was the most positive and influential male figure I had in my life growing up. My Uncle Tracy isn't really my uncle. He's my cousin but my grandma raised him from a baby so he couldn't be more of my uncle than my Uncle Mack or my Uncle James or Uncle Roosevelt (my the Lord rest the souls of the last 2). Well, getting back on track. The first day I was there, my uncle challenged me to a fight. My uncle's one of those crazy ex-marines who thinks nothing can stop them. Well, at that point, I'd been teaching martial arts (KaJuKenFu Kenpo... learn more at KaJuKenFu.com. It was really fun. Well, I had a job working as tech support for Stream International. I knew I wouldn't be there long b/c I wanted my own place. Well, after a few days, my uncle's wife turned evil on me! See, I would go to work at 7am in the morning and work overtime or stay out until midnight so as to stay away from her. When I would come in, I'd try and knock lightly so as to not wake the kids. She would come to the door all mean and say stuff like, "Why you knocking so softly? I have to get up and let your ass in anyways." I'd appologize. One night, I asked her to give me a key so I wouldn't have to wake her up. She tells me, "I'm not giving your ass a key to my house!!" I'd go in and cry myself to sleep. I'd only sleep for about 5 hours so I could get up and go back to work. On my days off, I'd either stay in the room and cry or stay out to not be around her. I even slept in my car a couple of times until my Uncle Tracy would come home. I was only there when my Uncle Tracy was there. When he wasn't around, she wouldn't even let me eat any of their food. I had to sneak and get something or my little cousins would give me something. See, when I moved to Dallas, my mom gave me a car to use and 4 $100 bills to live off of. If you've lived in Dallas anytime, you know that that isn't much money. She didn't really want me to come here but there just wasn't many opportunities in Louisiana. My uncle's wife was like night and day towards me when my Uncle Tracy was around. She pretended to be so nice and friendly towards me. Since my Uncle Tracy worked nights and then had his own company on the side, he wasn't really around much when I stayed there. Now, let's move to the last few years. My Uncle Tracy has invited me to go over to his place and have holiday dinner. I'd show up but everytime I see his wife, I think about how she treated me. I've made up excuse after excuse to not go over there. The times that I did go over there, I'd only stay a few minutes and then leave...taking a plate with me. This last holiday season, my baby sister went with me over there for Thanksgiving. (She moved out to Dallas from Louisiana almost a couple of years ago.) We'd knocked on the door for a while. The inner door was open and the screen door was unlocked but we just don't walk-in. My uncle's wife's brother was sitting on the ottoman by the TV. He looked at my sister and I knocking on the door and instead of opening the door or waving us in, he turned towards the TV and started back watching it. My uncle's mom-in-law came to the door. She yelled to the rest of the house, "Tell Tracy that his cousin is here." Cousin? I'd NEVER referred to myself as his "cousin" and neither had my baby sister (he calls her Ms. Coon). We go in and all of his in-laws are sitting around and even laying out in the living room. We, stand in the doorway for the living room, speak to everyone...but no one speaks back to us. I look at my baby sister and I can tell that we both were feeling the same..unwanted. We look towards the kitchen and see our Uncle Tracy there. He sees us and waves us in. We step over his in-laws and go into the kitchen. His wife is there. She makes small talk with my baby sister. My baby sister doesn't care to much for her anyways. I tell my uncle that we're going to go catch a movie. We were going to catch a movie but not right then. We left and agreed that next time, we'll just go to Golden Corral instead. I know that it's been years now and that she's paying for the way she treated me when I moved here but I just can't find it in my heart to forgive her. What do you think??? How do I forgive her?