IF you want to keep your hair soft I would like to suggest do head massage with oil before taking bath than wash your head and see the result.
I had this problem when I started growing my hair long. Now I just use conditioner and when I wake up, after washing it, I apply BedHead leave in conditioner. Works like a charm. Plus if your hair doesn't get too dirty, oily, gross throughout the day, there's no need to wash every night/day.
Yep, I heard that egg whites help soften your hair, but I don't use that. Go to a store and buy something suitable for your hair type or ask someone there to help you? Conditioner also helps.
apply coconut oil before u take head bath.apply well over your head after ten minutes take a head bath with shampoo.your hair gets soft and silky.
Use treatment hair mask every week and use conditioner on other days. If you are lazy and don't mind spending money, you can get the professional to do the hair mask thing for you.
Try to visit a hair dresser, I think they will give you an accurate advise with regards to your problem.
I suggest You to use any herbals. It can be camomile or spearmint. But the best stuff is to wash your hair with water and bread!