There are two ways to make an Atom Bomb: First Way: First you take your flour and mix it with your sugar and your water as well as two eggs (Grade A--remember this is weapons grade here!) to make the "Nuclear Envelope" (otherwise known as the crust). Then you take your filling (cherry, pumpkin, apple-- this will vary upon the payload you wish to deliver- with the highest being whipped cream), in our case whipped cream for maximum effect. And gently place it in the oven (enriching stage). This is where your bomb will take shape. Set it to broil at 573 1/2 degrees Kelvin for 2 days. At 17 hours 36 minutes and 84 seconds (yes 84 seconds!!!) toss in 3 rotten eggs and quickly shut the door. This will add a certain...stench to the brew and will drastically increase the power of the blast. At 41 hours 12 minutes and 4.63511 seconds you need to insert a single (1) cheese wheel soaked in kerosene (karo-sceen) at the heart of the bomb (note: if you fail to insert the cheese wheel soaked in kerosene at exactly this time, your bomb will NOT work at all, instead you'll need to start over). Allow it to incinerate until at exactly 48 hours you need to charge in and drop the temperature to -53 degrees Fahrenheit followed by a temperature rise to 41 degrees Celsius. This sudden cooling and warming will ensure complete mixing. You should be left with one (1) completely melted, smouldering, and utterly destructive working atomic weapon. Second Way: This way is arguably easier, and can be completed in a short amount of time. First you will need Swiss cheese, 2% milk, a normal drinking glass, toilet paper, aluminium foil, and Xbox Live (so you can brag to your friends- oh...um...never mind). First, poor the milk into the glass. The glass is your container. Next, rip the cheese into small globs and put that into the glass. Cover the top with toilet paper. Then cover the toilet paper with aluminium foil. You set off the bomb by throwing the bomb at a target. The glass will shatter and reach the resonant frequency of the cheese, which will cause it to react violently with the milk and cause flame, which will light the toilet paper, which will cause an extreme reaction with the aluminium foil. Third Way: This way is the hardest of all. First, you need to find Tom Cruise. After you find Tom Cruise, steal your grandmothers couch (yes the one covered in plastic wrap) and tell him that it is Oprah's couch. Tom Cruise will want to jump on it, so push it over the edge of the Grand Canyon. Tom Cruise will jump after it, fall down the sides and break every bone in his body, just like Evel Knievel. Tom Cruise will die, but Satan won't want him in Hell. Shortly after, Satan will appear from the edge of the Grand Canyon and beg you to take Tom back so that Satan can get a break from hearing Tom Cruise ramble on about how "Mission Impossible was so awesome", and how he was "so good in Valkerie", and how he's "not gay". Of course, you need to con Satan. Ask him for the legendary Lieutenant Shinysides, Satan's pet goldfish. Satan loves his pet goldfish, but he'll gladly give it up. However, since Satan is a liar, he gave Lieutenant Shinysides a cute name to cover up the fact that Lieutenant Shinysides is actually an extremely explosive puffer fish that he had planned to use on Jesus during Armageddon. But, i digress. If you haggle enough Satan will give you Lieutenant Shinysides and then return to the bowels of Hell. Afterwards, take Lieutenant Shinysides and cut him open, and remove his heart of solid Uranium. The uranium is already enriched, so all you need to do to create your bomb is to put the uranium inside a tampon. Then, use chloroform on your girlfriend (don't have one? Well then i guess you aren't fit to be the next dictator!) and then stick the tampon up her snatch. When she comes to, she'll be so pissed off that the bomb will start to smolder inside her snatch. Tell your girlfriend not to worry and that you were going to surprise her by driving her to a fancy resturant downtown. When you get there, take her to a McDonalds. At that exact moment, get the fuck out of that car. She'll be so pissed off that the snuke will detonate at any moment. With any luck, you'll be able to jump into a fridge before the bomb goes off. If you don't, you will be trapped in a Lieutenant Shinysides-level asplosion, which will cause 9/11 times 1000 (911000) an approximation of the entire universe will be damaged. Everything will die, except for you, (if you're in the fridge) Chuck Norris, Barney (because his child molesting stupidity creates a barrier around him) and Jesus. Then, poke your head out of the dumpster and you will get to witness an awesome fistfight between Jesus, Chuck Norris and Barney. If you're smart, bet on Jesus, because he can kill Chuck Norris instantly with his ultimate attack LET THERE BE LIGHT and then Chuck Norris will get clean-shaven by the attack, and since his beard is his power source, he will be as strong as your mom (she sucks... literally.). Barney would die instantly because there are no infants left in the universe to rape. Jesus would then be TEH PWNZOR and 1337 and have T3H PH1R3... until he is eaten by an Ubergrue. Then you are also eaten by an Ubergrue. So don't build nukes this way. Period. Nukes are bad. If you want a nuke so badly, buy 'em from Russia. They were dumb enough to sell them to foreigners a few years ago. In Soviet Russia, bomb explodes YOU!!
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And to think Iran have spent all that money trying to develop nuclear technology and all they had to do was join DP Oh, and President Obama wants a word with you - something about a Big Red button he wants you to push???
Funny. So funny. Very hilarious. Brilliant. I also thought that a nuclear scientist is revealing the secret of home-made nuclear bom. It took me less than a second to click this thread's link when my eyes see it.
Why to disclose these important notes why not you make them and sell in the DP. It will fetch you a good price.
Nuclear bomb.... well it is not the need of the hour...... Peace is the one..... i would suggest you to start a thread on peace.....
You have great knowledge about how to make a nuclear bomb and i have never thought of it before about how to make nuclear bomb! Any way,good knowledge!