How to get instant, huge, targeted traffic and that too for free?

could someone give genuine suggestion over...how to get instant, huge(even moderate will do), targeted traffic and that too for free...i know it seems like quite a fantasy for any webmaster...but we could atleast try...i would like it if out of the box suggestions are made...and please no reiteration of somethings thats already present in someone's blog or article or forum posts.

To begin with i can make a few suggestions myself:

1. You can organize a walkathon in your locality and announce that your website has organized it.
2. You can even raise genuine funds for the needy and make it public that these fund are raised by so and so website...here you do social work as well as gain popularity for your website too.
3. At workplaces/schools/colleges...you can announce or atleast make a refference to your website...may be as a third party and suggest its usefulness...if your a school/college teacher then you could ask your students to actually visit your website...for ofcourse something that they could benefit from.
4. If you get a chance to speak in the public you could point out to your website reffering to a point in your speech...maybe as a third person.

any more suggestions anyone???

 

i'm desperately looking out for a few unique tricks...so please help me out with this

 

Appear on a TV show and do something crazy

 

I love these hearing this marketing methods - keep coming ! What about have you URL graf'd all around town !

 

Local newspapers (here at least) have interviews sometimes....(not really a press release). Just sign up for that, do your story and get free readers/traffic.

 

thats a good 1 - i always worry that adsense would see a spike in traffic and just ban my an*s

 

Why would adsense ban people just because of the spike in traffic..

 

hey that sounds cool and fun!!!

 

here...in the sense which place are you talking about?...this is quite a good idea Ervee...thanx buddy

 

Start a Word Press blog and read the Authority Black book by Jack Humphrey.

 

Yeh, and illegal and surefire way to meet the police

 

Submit to lots of social bookmarking sites. They generate huge amounts of traffic.

 

Get a job working for Google and add your link to the homepage? (= ban from job, and google search, but you might make some dough in the 5 minutes no one notices)

Add your URL to every book in the library. (No, not writing on them, use bookmarks )

 

I love that one!

 

wow...what an idea...hats off!!!

 

I live in the Netherlands, but I bet there are options in magazines and papers anywhere in the world, as long as you have a reason why you should be in the magazine.

Over here we have an young entrepreneur section. Write to the newspaper that you're a new entrepreneur and you are young and voila you can get a story.

 

i stay in india...here too we have many such newspaper sections where you can publish a write up...to be more precise...in the newspaper that i purchase...we have a section dedicated to websites and ways in which people can benefit from them.

 

write many different articles about your site about your products about your business about the industry it is in about why you like it about why it is the best about anything that relates to the site and submit hem for FREE

FREE ARTICLES RESULT IN FREE TRAFFIC

 

I made some inexpensive magnets that sponsor a group that I will be with next week. Its a nice little souvineer that they can put on the fridge to remember their vacation. I like the bookmark idea as well. Might have to make some of those up to pass out too.

 

in india we have these public vehicals called auto rickshaws...where pay the fare as per the meter...during rainy season...to avoid the meter from getting wet and damaged...covers are provided to them with the name of the product or service printed on them...i'm sure that whenever people travel they always keep a watch over the meter and thus they come accross the ad...neat way to market things...this is not FREE though...the expense of the covers have to be done by u...but then that's it...many of them could make use of this idea...many countries have their own taxis running...what say