How the heck do you get a job in Web Design?

A stable paying job.

Most of the stuff I find have requirements asking you to basically be a jack of all trades, know like tons of languages and programs (like every freakin' multimedia program out there and every major language). I know some languages and some programs lol. But I'm good at them.
I've been web designing for a while now but obviously not long enough since like every job out there seems to require 5-7 years (I've been doing it on and off for about that but not consistently enough).

Plus I'm pretty sure I haven't been able to find most of the jobs around my area anyways since a lot don't seem to advertise online.

 

I've done quite well by patiently (keyword) lingering around sites like this one. Do the odd few jobs here and there and you can earn enough to pay your bills. Again, patience is key. Because most people want everything done tomorrow and for 10 cents.

 

There are always freelancer sites such as Getafreelancer.com that can make you money. You can pick the projects that you want to complete based on your own expertise.

 

try also at elance.com...