how sad!!!!!!!

LOL.. That's great =)

 

hi DP users
thanks 4 ur reply, here is one more..... enjoyyy
----------

Tarjan (Me), a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of
birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Tarjan spent all
night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class
notes backward and forward. Tarjan was ready.

The morning of the test, Tarjan entered the auditorium and took a seat in
the front row. On the table in the front was a row of ten stuffed birds.
Each bird had a sack covering its body, and only the legs were showing.
When class started, the professor announced that the students were to
identify each bird by looking at its legs and give its common name,
species, habitat, mating habits, etc.

Tarjan looked at each of the birds' legs. They all looked the same to him.
He started to get angry. He had stayed up all night studying for this
test and now he had to identify birds by their LEGS? The more he thought
about the situation, the angrier he got.
Finally he reached his boiling point. He stood up, marched up to the
professor's desk, crumpled up his exam paper and threw it on the desk.
"What a ridiculous test!" he told the prof. "How could anyone tell the
difference between these birds by looking at their legs? This exam is
the biggest rip-off I've ever seen!"

With that, Tarjan turned and stormed toward the exit. The professor was a
bit shocked, and it took him a moment to regain his composure. Then,
just as Tarjan was about to walk out the door, the prof shouted out, "Wait
a minute, young man, what's your name?"


Tarjan turned around, pulled up his pant legs and said, "Now You tell me,
prof! You tell me!"

 

heheh ... cool jokes ;-)

 

hi DP users ..... read n njoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it 's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It 's only Rs.10,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "Rs95,00,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."



WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They 're asking Rs.75 ,50,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 70,00,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I 'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."


The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....


He smiles and asks:



-

-

-

-

-

-

-

"Anyone knows whose this mobile belongs to?"

 

good one.Thanks for sharing.

 

SIXTH SENSE

==========

A father put his three year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers which she
ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy,
God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye
grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just
seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed
and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God
bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in
contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed
the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye
daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep
all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his
office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch
sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he
could get by until midnight he would be okay. He
felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the
end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee,
looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went
home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you
work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about
it, I've just
spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never
believe what happened to me. This morning the
milkman dropped dead on our porch." J

 

nice joke........lol

here is one from me:

a patient was in the scan room, he was about to get a brain scan,
scan in 5 seconds:
1


2


3


4


5


error!


no brain detected:

 

Great jokes, thanks for sharing.

 

Dear sir,

I Love Your Wife

Thank You​

 

Awesome jokes! 'Specially from Tarjan.

Keep it up.

 

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is? "Bob". "And what is your question, Bob?"

"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is?

Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?! And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!

 

Haha

Let me guess... The lunch bell goes off?

 

hahaha, that's nice one. thansk for sharing dude!

 

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded
a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began
feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She
changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved
again and then on her fourth move he burst out
laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was
asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing
she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which
read "Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved
under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove
Swelling". I was even more amused when she sat under a
shaving advertisement which read "William Stick Did
The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer
when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement
which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."

 

That one was good

Keep them coming I say!

 

rofl, good stuff

 

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
H. 2 American men and 1 American woman
I. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
What a Crazy coincidence!
One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was
observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate
with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking &
cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look
at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying
to sell them the Mexican woman.
G. The two Irish men began by dividing up their part of the island into
Northern & Southern parts, and by setting up a distillery. They do not
remember the Irish woman because it gets sort of foggy after the first few
litres of coconut whiskey but at least the English are not getting any.
H. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is
bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism,how she
can do everything that they can do , about the necessity of fulfilment, the
equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her
opinion and treated her much better,and how her relationship with her mother
is improving.
What happened to the Indians????? ?
scroll down......
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The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman.....

 

Good, good. Not as good as the others but yeah.

 

A lady was on a plane, arriving from Switzerland. She
found herself seated next to a nice priest.
She asked him, " Excuse me Father, could I ask you a
favor ? "
The priest replied, " Of course my child. What can I
do for you ? "
I have a small problem and wonder whether you could
help. I bought myself a new sophisticated women's hair
remover gadget, for which I paid an enormous sum of
money. I have really gone over the cutoms duty
declaration limits. As I do not have enough money to
pay duty, I am worried that they will confiscate it at
customs. Do you think you could hide it under your
cassock? "

The priest replied, " Of course I could, my child.
But, you must realize that being a priest, I can not
lie ! "
The lady said, " You have such an honest face Father.
I am sure they will not ask you any questions "
So, she gave him the ' Hair remover ' gadget, which
the priest put under his cassock. The aircraft arrived
at its destination. The priest presented himself to
one of the customs officers.

He asked the priest, " Father, do you have anything to
declare ?"
The priest replied truthfully, " Son . . . . from the
top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare "
Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked,
" And from the sash down father, what do you have ? "
Again the priest replied truthfully, " Son . . . . I
have there a marvelous little instrument destined for
use by women, but . . . . which has never been used !
"

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "
Go ahead Father. Next person please . . . . . !!! "

 

Haha, fast thinking ^_^