Thats why you need to work on your own site to know what your skills are worth. Then you can approach clients with what you are capable of doing, and you can more easily figure out what you should charge them.
The number one reason why people fail is because they don't stick with what they are doing. Choose one thing and stick with it, don't give up so easily and move onto something else.
start by offering sites like fiverr and twenyfiverr and alike some programming help services. you can also start a blog about the difficulties of making money online these days. just some ideas for you. but yes, like some people have said before, start with a positive attitude ... or at least an attitude that would push you towards achieving your goals.
Dear You are so smart man. You only having a negative mindset. So, first of all Be positive. read some positive attitude books.Now for online work you try blogging , free alance sites. you should be make money!