How Bad Are Your Employees?!?!

Discussion in 'Movies, Music & TV' started by reddik0976, Jan 2, 2009.

  1. #1
    These are supposedly actual quotes taken from National government employee performance evaluations. If you’ve had bad employees as I have - you’ll laugh out loud.

    1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”

    2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”

    3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.”

    4. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”

    5. “When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”

    6. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”

    7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

    8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

    9. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.”

    10. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”

    11. “A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”

    12. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”

    13. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”

    14. “He’s been working with glue too much.”

    15. “He would argue with a signpost.”

    16. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”

    17. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”

    18. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”

    19. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”

    20. “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”

    21. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”

    22. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”

    23. “He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”

    24. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”

    25. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”

    26. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”

    27. “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”

    28. “One neuron short of a synapse.”

    29. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”

    30. “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes.”

    31. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
     
    reddik0976, Jan 2, 2009 IP
  2. probably_not

    probably_not Peon

    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    8
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #2
    i'm not sure where you found these, but some of them are pretty FUNNY!

    :)

    THANKS
     
    probably_not, Jan 3, 2009 IP
  3. elenojo

    elenojo Peon

    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    1
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #3
    It's A Good Thing You Qualified Your Thread To Pertain To Government
    Employees, Although This Is Not To Say All Of Them Are That Bad. But
    These Qualities Don't Describe Private Employees, We Hire Our
    Personnel On Competence And Qualification Basis, Never On Political
    Considerations.
     
    elenojo, Jan 3, 2009 IP