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HELP i burned my girlfriends cooter

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Ikaruga, Jun 20, 2008.

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  1. #1
    ok this is what happening

    my parents are out with family friends, and they'll be back any minute so I need your help

    heres some background

    i volunteer on my cousins softball team (im 17, the girls are 15)

    and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Allison, and we're going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with her homework. I helped her on an english essay and she still got a C. This is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz

    So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so I ask her to have sex

    "no i cant its not right" she said but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

    So I gave her diddy kong racing and ken griffey jr baseball, and then she goes to my room. shes a bit confused and scared.

    Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz I hear you guys on DP saying you need to lube up her cooter otherwise it wont fit in properly.

    Ok so I have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

    I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smrat and please help me.

    Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?
     
    Ikaruga, Jun 20, 2008 IP
    mightyb likes this.
  2. twistedspikes

    twistedspikes Notable Member

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    #2
    I'm a bit shocked...and confused.

    I'm going to assume this is a taking the piss post
     
    twistedspikes, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  3. mightyb

    mightyb Banned

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    #3
    he he he he he he he this has to be the funniest thing this week. Are you serious?
     
    mightyb, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  4. torrentstorage

    torrentstorage Peon

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    #4
    tell her to put icy hot on it that should work
     
    torrentstorage, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  5. daniegb123

    daniegb123 Banned

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    #5
    LOL - Wtf this is more wacky then Mighty :p - You put butter in a microwave for 8 minutes and expect it not to burn ROFL. Anyway, go get an icepack you silly duffer!
     
    daniegb123, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  6. felzafndy

    felzafndy Banned

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    #6
    you are minors :mad:


     
    felzafndy, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  7. ryandanielt

    ryandanielt Well-Known Member

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    #7
    ROFL you cant be serious!

    OMG this just totally made my day!
     
    ryandanielt, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  8. Ikaruga

    Ikaruga Peon

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    #8
    yea. do you think if i give her starfox she'll shut up? maybe she's been holding out for that game...
     
    Ikaruga, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  9. mightyb

    mightyb Banned

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    #9
    Have you heard the saying:"You got to munch it before you punch it?"

    30 minutes later another thread pops up saying:"I just knocked out my girlfriend's cooter! Help!"
     
    mightyb, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  10. Dondon2d

    Dondon2d Peon

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    #10
    Haha. Funny and silly at the same time lol. You need foreplay buddy. Kids come even with fingers. Sex for Nintendo 64 games, that's just wicked. It's more of a silent rape than a 'want to lose virginity' for me.
     
    Dondon2d, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  11. bob50963

    bob50963 Peon

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    #11
    Lmao! Wow. Dude you don't need lube to have fun. You should of made the ice berg melt. skfjkfdjfds ksjkjfkdj thats how hard im laughing. Im sorry I know its you need help. Is it burning or is it burned? You should have touched the butter first! Im sure 8 minutes it 10x to long.
     
    bob50963, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  12. wisdomtool

    wisdomtool Moderator Staff

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    #12
    I don't think minor sex thread is legal maybe the mods can take a look into it.
     
    wisdomtool, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  13. mightyb

    mightyb Banned

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    #13
    I'm taking a screenshot just in case this gets deleted :D
     
    mightyb, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  14. jkrish41

    jkrish41 Banned

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    #14
    Hahaha, I saw this before... it is great ;)
     
    jkrish41, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  15. J_Rade

    J_Rade Peon

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    #15
    come on man...
    i mean, at least give her super mario kart
     
    J_Rade, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  16. Dondon2d

    Dondon2d Peon

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    #16
    Also, when you took out the butter from the microwave, didn't you feel if it was hot or not? Even if you put it in a small plate you can feel it!!

    I'm laughing and I pity the 15 year old at the same time. She fell in the wrong dirty hands.

    Haha. For future reference? :D




    C'mon. This is a joke, isn't this? If it's not, oh my.
     
    Dondon2d, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  17. bob50963

    bob50963 Peon

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    #17
    Lol that was even funnier then thread :D
     
    bob50963, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  18. LeoSeo

    LeoSeo Peon

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    #18
    "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

    Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ah ah aaaah
    Man thanks for the thread, such a laughter it is
     
    LeoSeo, Jun 20, 2008 IP
  19. twistedspikes

    twistedspikes Notable Member

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    #19
    'course it is, who bribes girls with N64 games nowadays? :p
     
    twistedspikes, Jun 20, 2008 IP
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  20. Dondon2d

    Dondon2d Peon

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    #20
    Yeah, I also think that Sex for N64 Games is HILARIOUS. :D
     
    Dondon2d, Jun 20, 2008 IP
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