Health Niche - BOOSTHGH - 75% commission

Hi Guys,

This is kind of a pre-launch however
you can start making sales right now.

The website is: www.boosthgh.com

The product talks about how you can
increase your natural production of
HGH.

Here is the your affiliate link:

http://xxxxx.boosthgh.hop.clickbank.net

Replace the x's with your own ID.

We are paying 75% commission for
this product.

I'm calling this a pre-launch because
although you can start selling this right
now, there is no affiliate material yet.

This will be available from next week and
will include pre-written emails, banners and
all the usual goodies.

If you are in the health niche and are
interested in sending this product to
your list, please contact me.

I am happy to offer bonus commission
to list owners!

Aff material will be here next week.

If you have any questions about this
product contact me.

Cheers,

drew

 

I think you need to improve on the sales page. First of all get a 'Native Writer' to write your sales page. Also need to add more information and bigger text of 'Natural' 'Weight' Loss'.

Cheers.

 

Can you please point out where it looks like it wasnt written by a "native writer".

cheers,

Drew

 

All of it from "There was a time.....

Example: I began exercising as a way to try to increase my energy level. But try as I may, I couldn't get the results I craved.

This should be one sentence and not two.

 

Just finished 4 part email series.
If you have a list and want to blast this product let me know and I will send you the series.

On top of the 75% commission below is the aff bonus for list owners:

0-50 sales = +$1/sale
50-100 sales = +$2/sale
100-200 sales = +$3/sale
200+ sales = +$4/sale


cheers,

Drew

 

looks good swerd, as a native english speaker it flows nicely for me

 

nice to see you back here with a new product.
earth4energy.. good times. still remember back when you posted earth4energy threads here and we all witnessed
for ourselves how quickly that blew up.
well, good luck with your new product, i'm sure it'll be another success!
i'll be sure to get on this one.

 

Looks pretty good, might even be able to do something with you on this in the future

 

Will check this out

 

Looks good, great idea. Boosting the HGH has a very high demand amongst the people who work out, they spend a lot of money on supplements and even illegal steroids to boost HGH. So this should do well, the market is big, kudos on the idea of making something like this.

 

Sorry but do you understand copywriting at all? When you turn this into 1 sentence, it's too long. And therefore completely unreadable.

I do think the second sentence is sort of strange. And I would let someone read this salesletter again. But turning 2 sentences into 1 is simply a bad, bad, bad suggestion. Did I mention it was a bad suggestion? Well... it is.

Before you give copywriting advice, I'd suggest picking up some books.

There are some flaws in the salesletter. The headline needs an extra word for instance. (just check it out. It'll make sense when you take a close look)

I see some other things that I'd personally improve upon, too. Like in the call to action section. Just some changes in the way you phrase things. To make it more attractive.

Then you got your bulletpoints. You can definitely spice those up.

 

Personally I think that sentence doesn't read correctly I don't think you should have a 'BUT' at the start of a new sentence, I think it would read better like this.

I began exercising as a way to try to increase my energy level, but try as I may I couldn't get the results I craved.