Almost forgot about this thread, still not even close to healed. If anything I'm more hurt, but more understanding, in ways it's been good for me and I try to remain hopeful that the one I love will be back to me some day.
Just a few thoughts, in hopes it might help others not lose the love of their lives. My love of my life thought I was pressuring her, to be with me. I have always had a need to be with her, there for her, protect her both physically and emotionally even though I failed at this task many times. I also had a huge fear of her being miserable for the remainder of her days, so much that I dreamed of it nightly, this caused me in every conversation with her to reach to her, partially out of need to be with her, but also out of the need to make sure she is happy, living her dreams, her wants, trying to prove to her she does not 'need' to do anything but what she wants. To get her over the guilt, the obligations she had, I fear this had pushed her away. I didn't know what else to do, the overwhelming feeling, the bond I had with her the connection, knowing her to the core, knowing what she wanted and still did from listening to her and in many cases simply being able to sense it made me unable to do anything else but reach to her. To reach her before it was to late, before she was gone to me forever, before she was destined to a life of not living for herself, of being miserable for the rest of her days. I also hurt this woman greatly, there is no excuse for it. At times i called her horrible names, again no excuse for it. It always came from the fear of losing her, I never felt good enough for just how perfect she is. This woman felt I did not trust her, felt I thought something horrible of her. It couldn't be further from the truth, even with all my pain from losing her I still trust her more than anyone I have in my life, I never really thought those horrible names of her. She thought I put on an act at times, when all I was doing was pouring my heart out to her. Perhaps she is not used to someone loving her as much as I do. She hates me for my past, believes people can not change. I did not change for this woman, this woman saved me and brought out the real true me, the real true me that was lost since my child hood. Maybe I deserved to get my heart broken, all I know is that woman is simply perfect, and as I always feared I was not good enough for her, it is the truth, no man IMO is good enough for the perfection that is her. She is currently with someone else, but I hold onto hope, her words, her dreams, everything that it's not what she truly wants, but what she feels she needs to go. If only there was a way I could reach to her, calm her fears about everything, reassure her, be there for her, hold her, love her and cherish her. It hurts like mad that she's with someone else, so bad I can't even describe it. However if you do truly love someone, if you see them as the one you are meant to be with, do not stalk them, do not scare them away, but hold onto hope, be there for them should they ever need them. That is what I am trying to do.
Yes, many many times. So much so I don't think I'll ever be able to love again, but all in all its not so bad as long as you have someone around. It'll make you a harder, stronger person.
Twice, and it shouldn't happen again. I don't think you can break something that doesn't exist anymore.
It can be broken more than once, my love had her heart broken before me, and I broke hers on more than one occasion. God I'm such an idiot. How badly I wish I could reverse time and take it back, to heal hers.
Yeah! many times but this year i am unpaid from company for about 4 months! which really had broken my heart too badly
Yes, I've had my heart broken several times...the last time propelled me into major devotion to spiritual and business growth and now I don't regret a single day of the tears and pain. I'm single and while it would be great to find a relationship one day, I'm not attached to that idea. Stephanie