A man wakes up in a Polish hospital. The doctor is standing by the side of the bed and says, "I have good news and bad news". "Well," says the man, "tell me that bad news first." And the doctor says, "The bad news is that we amputated the wrong leg." So, the man asks, "And the good news?" "The bad leg's getting better."
Heres the latest Good News: A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican’s pocket and got out twenty dollars. He kept $15 for administrative fees and gave the homeless person five. Now you understand the difference between Republicans & Democrats.