CCBill is the biggest and most reliable name in adult right now, they've been pumping out a lot of new features lately too, regional billing, cascading affiliates with back up processors, etc.
you may also want to try the ecommerce section of webhostingtalk, as I have just realized people seem to be talking more about merchant accounts over there than here. Especially with what you are looking for.
ccbill charges an arm & a leg though, but if your going to have an affiliate program better go with ccbill. If not, then go with some1 else. And I have no idea who else that may be, but I've looked into ccbill for a replica site, and the fees were just too high
You might give BankCard Central a try. They do credit card processing for sites with adult content. They're smaller than CCBill, but you can get much more personalized service and should be able to get better rates. They also have their own payment gateway, which is beneficial because some of the gateways won't process for sites with adult content.