Funny short sayings

Figured there's a need for a thread about funny short sayings, so cmon and join in here we go:

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster
(Clint Eastwood)

Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit
(Will Smith)

 

A bowling alley is a poor man's country club

 

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?

 

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

 

If I'm not back in five minutes, wait longer

 

When ever we find the key 2 success,

Some idiots change the lock..

So, 4get the key, Learn to BREAK d doors!

 

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky

 

"Have you ever seen a ghost???..." someone asked.





'No!, I ve not get married..." replied the other one







SL//


xx

 

Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass