A whole bunch of short George Carlin jokes, otherwise known as Georgisms... Teaser with a link... (Almost) 50 Great “Georgisms†- George Carlin Jokes If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, “Where’s the self-help section?†She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him… is he still wrong? Figured it'd be a good way to break the Sunday night working stress... damn, I just realized I'm working on a Sunday night.