Funniest E-mail I've Ever Received (Related To My Dog Website)

bad_bob00 Active Member

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#1

Hi there,

I've got a dog training website, I don't normally get any e-mails or interest from the website, but the other day I received quite an amusing email. Here it is:

Dear Sir or Madam,
I found your wonderful website that claims to provide "online advice for dog lovers", which happens to be the very service I require!
My wife Petronella and I have enjoyed the company of our fantastic dog Robinson for almost half a year now. Everything is perfect, however there has been a behavioural issue that does often concern us, and we were hoping you might be able to shed some light on it.

Around two months ago, my wife was having trouble locating Robinson when his bi-daily meal was prepared. After calling for him around the house, grounds and tennis courts, Robinson would appear up to a minute and a half later - quite a concernable delay for a big hungry Old English Mastiff. On each occasion Robinson would return short of breath, and a look on his face that my wife and I agreed to be "quite worried". After three days of searching the grounds, I found Robinson around 200yds from the house, in an area of dense bush and thicket. He had built what can best be described as a 'nest'.
It was well hidden from view, and I thought the choice of location was quite remarkable for a dog, it was (almost) a flawless hiding place. I found him asleep, but my presence startled and awoke him, at which point he ran back to the house.

The nest was organised in the form of a circular clearing in the bush, of approximately 2 metres in diameter, with a collection of objects stolen from the house organised into a neat pile on one side, and with bedding made from small sticks and bundles of leaves occupying the other half. All of this struck me as quite strange, but still plausible if considering that Robinson may have been acting out some kind of primal urge to take shelter in the great outdoors. That is, however, except for Robinson's choice of stolen objects. The choice of objects goes beyond any kind of primal urge, and is instead nothing less than completely baffling.
In an estimated three days, he had collected, without detection:
Five books, all by the same author, despite the fact that they were dispersed around the house
Three towels, which had been neatly folded and stacked.
Two photo frames containing photos of my wife and I, one buried
All the bedding from the guest bedroom
A metal bucket, containing three cassette tapes
Three clocks and one watch, all (except the watch) with the batteries removed and buried
I was amazed. We have no neighbours that may have somehow helped Robinson, as we live in the country, and our only child (Mulligan) has been sent to boarding school in East Sussex, and was there at the time.

I collected the items and brought them back to the house, and Robinson's extremely strange activities ceased. That was, until today. I caught Robinson, this afternoon, in the act of stealing objects and taking them back to the nest. He was attempting to steal a bag of charcoal, but I stopped him before he left the shed. Before it, he had already stolen seven of the dining room's eight metal candlesticks, which were stored in the nest. It was finding this that encouraged me to seek some advice from internet pet gurus such as yourselves.
For now, Robinson will be punished by a stern shouting at 7.00am precisely each morning, and there is to be no more afternoon "nap attack", when he is usually allowed to nap for half an hour in any part of the garden.

We are currently greatly confused, and any light you can shed on the matter would be greatly appreciated.
Yours,
Nigel and Petronella Bates,
Kent, UK.
Click to expand...

lol. I sent them a reply as well

Matt

bad_bob00, May 31, 2007 IP

timsdd Peon

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#2

that's pretty funny. perhaps the guy should consider building the dog an apartment loft above the garage

timsdd, May 31, 2007 IP

mightyb Banned

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#3

Are you sure this is not a prank? This is amazing! he he he Made my day.

mightyb, May 31, 2007 IP

8everything Peon

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#4

That sounds too funny to be real lol, what was your response? Wanna post it here

8everything, May 31, 2007 IP

bad_bob00 Active Member

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#5

Lol yeah sorry, I responded and here is his reply too....

Dear Matthew,
Thank you for your speedy reply, I appreciate your concern and I would have no problem with you passing any information on. Additionally, at this stage it would probably be best to keep you updated as there was a development before bedtime last night.
It appears Robinson has worked out how to open the twisting-handle mechanism that operates the garage door. Last night, he opened the garage and proceeded to take all the paint (there are a LOT of paint tins), I think he may have been attracted to the handles on the tins, that make them easy for a dog to carry. Thankfully one of the tins must have been damaged in the collection process, and left a trail. It turns out the nest was a decoy all along - pretty crafty if you ask me - as he has constructed another nest almost three times the size (approximately 5 metres in diameter), containing every item that's gone missing from the house since we first got him 6 months ago. Robinson was quite frustrated that I had found his 'main' nest, and got quite defensive, but not to the point of violence as he is well trained and sufficiently loyal.
I have blocked up the entry points to both nests using bricks and big pieces of wood, and this morning Robinson is not pleased. He has been running around the house, barking and whining at my wife and I, in a seemingly pleading manner. He's been awake for 5 hours now, and I have been distracting him with newspapers (he loves them), with which he has created a bed in the upstairs bathtub.
Any further advice? I shall keep you updated if he does anything else.
Yours faithfully,
Nigel Bates.

On 5/24/07, matthew < XXX @ hotmail.com> wrote:
Hi there,

Thanks for visiting my dog training website and contacting me regarding your dog's strange behaviour. I'm quite puzzled as to why it would behave like this, but would you take offence to me passing this story on to some dog behaviour experts that I am in contact with, and see how they respond to the problem?

Thanks. Matt (http://www.sitstaygoplay.com)
Click to expand...

not as funny as the first e-mail but still very funny!

Matt

bad_bob00, May 31, 2007 IP

Night Owl Peon

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#6

Dogs can do funny things!

One we had years ago did something cute but weird.

We had come home from a conference, which we had helped cater, and had a bag of left over meat pies. We rushed in and dumped them in the kitchen, meaning to put them in the fridge, but had to rush off out again and forgot.

When we got home and I went to get into bed I discovered all the pies... about a dozen or so... neatly placed in my bed, under my quilt at various spots all the way down in the bed, and a couple under my pillow!

There were none missing/eaten, and the ones in the bed hadn't been nibbled at all, only small teeth marks from being carried from the kitchen to the bedroom. She must have made at least a dozen trips! It was like she kindly put them all there for me to eat when I was hungry during the night.

Funny girl!

Night Owl, May 31, 2007 IP

timsdd Peon

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#7

it reminds me of this thread but in this case it's real life and the dog is doing the bidding!

http://forums.digitalpoint.com/showthread.php?t=258631

timsdd, May 31, 2007 IP

coolsalman Banned

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#8

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaahhaahhhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

coolsalman, May 31, 2007 IP

bad_bob00 Active Member

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#9

coolsalman said: ↑

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaahhaahhhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Click to expand...

Exactly my reaction when I first read the e-mail!

I posted it on another forum and apparently its an author called Robin Cooper.

Matt

bad_bob00, Jun 1, 2007 IP

mitcharr Notable Member

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#10

hahahah thats very funny and weird

mitcharr, Jun 1, 2007 IP

Rohit patel Prominent Member

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#11

That sounds too funny to be real . You respondse is also funny one.

Rohit patel, Jun 1, 2007 IP

bad_bob00 Active Member

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#12

As mentioned earlier, apparently this guy is an author of some successful books, I bought one recently and it has to be one of the funniest books I've read (admittedly I don't read many books lol) and I only paid about 3 pounds including postage from Amazon.

I think I scared the guy off in my last e-mail, I'm hoping he will publish the e-mails he sent me though, in one of his new books perhaps

Matt

bad_bob00, Jun 3, 2007 IP

BigBadWolf Well-Known Member

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#13

LoL just wait until this dog learns how to drive

BigBadWolf, Jun 3, 2007 IP

Xeron.seron Banned

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#14

That's extremely funny. Too bad my dog an't like that. All he does is suck the ass of a unicorn plushie.

Xeron.seron, Jun 3, 2007 IP

8^) Peon

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#15

hey you are like a dog expert? Wich hole in the dog are ou suppose to penetrate?

8^), Jun 3, 2007 IP

bad_bob00 Active Member

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#16

Funny guy!!! I think your humour is wasted in this forum!

bad_bob00, Jun 3, 2007 IP

RovingCalypso Well-Known Member

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#17

That is interesting. Hey matt, ask the guy if those five books (by the same author) were placed together or separately. lol.

I think the dog was trying to make one of those time capsules.

RovingCalypso, Jun 3, 2007 IP

adleym Peon

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#18

That's hilarious! You should post it on your website and submit it to digg or something, bet you'd get a lot of traffic lol

adleym, Jun 4, 2007 IP

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Funniest E-mail I've Ever Received (Related To My Dog Website)

bad_bob00 Active Member

timsdd Peon

mightyb Banned

8everything Peon

bad_bob00 Active Member

Night Owl Peon

timsdd Peon

coolsalman Banned

bad_bob00 Active Member

mitcharr Notable Member

Rohit patel Prominent Member

bad_bob00 Active Member

BigBadWolf Well-Known Member

Xeron.seron Banned

8^) Peon

bad_bob00 Active Member

RovingCalypso Well-Known Member

adleym Peon

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