Dave, he will not lose his head because he is Japanese. Japanese get shot in the head, so all he needs to do is eat beans and hard bolied eggs. Mix in some Texas Pete for the back fire and he is set. His only weekness would be eating with lots of people, and in Iraq, thats freekin' dangerous. So he needs to go through the drive-threw. D
The way to get you over 140 pounds is to destroy your pancreas. Its Snicker time and 25 a day for a year will do the trick. Once you waste your pancreas gaining weight will be easy. So until then we will keep you behind the radar. You can do it Brother! Better to loose the pancreas than to loose your head! D D
Man Big D: You are a modern American folk hero. Sort of a combination of Rambo, Julia Child, and Dr. Phil all rolled into one. Giving great advice and explaining the ways of the world. More people should subscribe to this thread and learn from you!!!!!! Think I'll celebrate by eatin chili and drinkin beer!
Well probably because they are just too lazy to do anything like rebel or in a few cases even get out of their house. Also are we forgetting that generaly we see that most fat people have no life. How do you kill those who have no life, taking that from southpark.
this is a serious and well researched method to cut down on terrorist taxi kidnappings!! have you seen a fat guy stuffed into a teeny taxi? NEVER! Every try and lug around a big fat doughy full cheeked beheaded behemoth? NEVER happens. You'll never see one. Ever been hit broadside by a back door mortar from a chili/hard boiled egg/ beer drinkin defender of truth justice and the american way? If you haven't.......you could be the tester we've been looking for!
Good point! Ok, I think I found another thing to add to our arsenal of defense weapons in order to save our heads from being cut off. Quick review of what we have so far; 1) Eat to enlarge neck for difficult cutting, and make it hard to be pushed into Taxi-kidnapping situation. 2) Gas from ass, makes for clearing out small rooms and cars. And here is my third idea; David Hasselhoff videos on a podcast. This video in particular would have great success in having terrorist blow their own heads off. We could play this music while driving through the city. It would cause roadside bombs to prematurely explode. It would be like the 1996 movie Mars Attacks. Freekin’ heads exploding everywhere! D
What is your neck size Mojo? Can you blast a room of smiling people and drive them away with a simple back door explosion? If not you better start porking up. I always like to start with barbecue!
ACLU are a bunch of pussies. If you can't grab their neck, put their head's between your ass cheeks and squeeze out a wet one, I doubt you are patriotic enough to take on a cab full of terrorists! More eating is in order! Your patriotism is directly proportional to waist size and number of jabanero's eaten!
What's Back? McRib is back! It is unamerican not to consume 4 or more at lunchtime! Unamerican dammit! Eat McRibs! Defeat the terrorists!
Finally... I know. I went there at like 3AM to pick one up when they came out again. Yummy! None of my muslim friends wanted any. Go figure.
Yes my Brother!!!!!!!! Its Back! I am going to eat so many freeking McRibs until my neck gets as big as this Patriotic American. He not only has a fat neck that will make it hard for cutting, but he is already making music that will make the bad guy's blow their heads off. I love this man. Numa is my new Idol for anti-terrorism! Take that Alex Jones! D
I'm eating so many, I'm gonna sweat McRib sauce, so even if they do try to grab me, my fat sweaty skin will be full of pork juices and they will have to kill themselves for sinning before their god by touching pork!
You greasy bastard! I envy your commitment Big L. You freekin’ Rock! I would love to see those towel heads puke as they grab your nasty greasy neck and then try to wipe it off on their scared garments. Bowing to Mecca is a beeeich when you can’t put your greasy hands on your Persian prayer rug! Keep up the good work Soldier!
That's a great one Lorien. Good advice for the freedom loving fat necked anti-terrorists. I'm gonna eat so much McRibs my face will look like a pig
We knew we could count on you Dave! You’re not just a talker; rather you are a doer! So many on this board just talk and talk. How many are like yourself and are willing to eat 20 McRibs this week because they love America? You Rock Dave! You’re a fat American! P.S. I think Big Fat Rush has had it right all along. His neck is so freekin’ fat he could walk threw Baghdad naked and still not worry about being beheaded. D
A word of caution to all the freedom lovin anti-kidnapping security experts out there. Practice practice practice. There is a delicate balance between the ability to blow out the windows of taxi with an explosive gas attack and diarrhea. Go to far....and all you got is diarrhea....and while the taxi may stink the windows are intact and the stinkin kidnappers....they already smell so bad...they don't care. Plus they know their victems will be sh*tten in their pants sooner or later anyways. So practice. Get down that balance of the right amount of chili, hard boiled eggs, beer, etc. But don't go too far. You may go through some pants. You may need to buy some new underwear. So what. That is a small price to pay for freedom!
Damn, I fogot about the McRibs... ARGH.... I just got done wiring a SlumberLand (whatever that hell that is) and decided to get some lunch. There was a Wendy's near by, and since it's Friday I figured what the hell... Screw the diet..! That neck is getting bigger.