BD: In order to help we need to do a search for the world's biggest, most absorbant cork. (16hrs--oh that'll hurt) Then we need to secure that bugger with the world's strongest chains (16 hrs of explosive contained gas--like mt vesuvius ready to erupt). Then someone has to position your big eruptive virgin butt over the enemy in happy land. Then bombs away!!! and its hasta la huega Jihadi's. BD: Afterwards they'll make a big statue of your exploding butt in all its full explosive freedom loving glory. They'll probably do a replica of your butt on the backside of Mt. Rushmore!! Hallielujah!
I am so proud to not only save my neck from a fat diet, but to off bad guy's with butt flames, takes the cake! To add my fart pic on a mountain is priceless! D
If your fart pic goes on a mountain....I'm getting the taco bell franchise at the visitor center. That place would make a fortune
Hey BD: I just saw this ad for the newest Bond movie. I guess its supposed to be about how James Bond became 007. The motto is...... Men want to be like him.....women want him We could imprint a pic of your big fat neck and your butt on the shirts. Put that motto on the shirts....I think we should stink em up so they are very realistic. I bet they'd sell like hot cakes.
That would be cool! I wonder if we would have trademark issues. Well who cares, I will just fart on the lawyers who want to sue me. I still have my neck and I am eating good! D
All my life, watchiiiing America, all my life, sssss'panic in America, Oh-oh-oh OH! There's trouble in America....
Your thinking problems and panic. Let me tell you. A big cheese steak and a soda today....and I'm gasLESS. And the neck feels thin. Good thing I'm in the US today. I got no ammo.
I don't know whats been going on but the last 4 days or so all I do is produce gas. Today I feel that my office needs a nuclear sign on it! (funny I don't smell anything?!?!?)
We spent Sunday at the neighbors kickin it back with the guys watching football and drinking beer while the wives took the kids trick or treating. One of our Chineese friends made chili (I have to admit, that sounds a little weird.) Anyway, my rear has been on fire all day. Man was it good, but something in me told me it was going to be nasty. I'm really gonna have to get his recipe, because this is the more fruity, toxic, juicy faltulance I have yet to experience. It's one thing to clear the bedroom at night, but the whole house, the yard, the block... ?
What!? Did you put horseradish and mix in pickle to get the juices flowing? We must immediately find out what your ass is missing. This is life or death Dave and no farting around is death Dude! So lets take it from the top, shall we? What was the entire meal? Just cheesesteak? Did you get chips? Remember; You must eat chips because they are broken down as a simple sugar and that will back up against the protein. Then the cheese will rot slowly against the steak while the cheese off-gasses. I think you need to eat Doritos, or Sour Cream and onion. Get back to me solder when you have this figured out. And where a freaking turtle neck in the process while we get some fat back on your neck. D
Find out how to get more gas and less juice next time. Let me know when you get the right combo. Well, not in person...lol
Thanks for the encouragement and advice big D. Of course I had chips...and a soda. But the gas wasn't there. Must of been a curse. I'm inspired by that Chinese style chili that Mia had. I'll hit a local chili place --get a big order. I always like adding the sour cream chips. I look forward to a good day today. I got a blues brothers type mask for halloween.....so I'll be passing gas anonymously today!
Another strategy for preventing mini-taxi kidnappings and beheadings: http://www.forbes.com/forbeslife/health/feeds/hscout/2006/10/30/hscout535773.html I'm sure when elephants look in the mirror and admire their big fat necks and bodies...they are thinking something like..... "you good looking sob....noones kidnapping or beheading me today. Think I'll spend the day eating about 300 lbs of hay and sh*t. Its so great. I get better looking every day!
I am so out of luck, I can gain weight. I have finally solidified being over 140 lbs! Gas is my only defence in this case, but I think I can pull off the bomb when I need to. More habeneros!
How about this guy, Big D. he is a strange case: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15497231/ He is a world champion eater...but he doesn't gain weight or girth. You could easily squeeze this guy into a kipnapping taxi. But I'm thinking he has a helluva secret weapon. If the guy doesn't gain weight he is probably a world class back door tnt blaster. If the bad guys make the mistake of shoving him into a taxi he'd probably be able to blow out the entire front of the taxi with a standard daily toot. come to think of it....when this guy is doing some serious eating--I wouldn't want to be up wind, down wind, anywhere's near him when his back door starts moving